How do I move on and how can I temporarily feel better?

I don't really know where to start. Its a complicated story and please don't give me shit for what I'm going to say.. I don't expect everyone to understand.

I met this amazing guy 9 months ago online... actually on here ironically... he had posted a question asking for help through personal message and it was winter break so I thought why not? Nobody had answered the poor guy in a week so I thought, might as well. My helping him turned into a back and forth and before we knew it we were friends. He helped me with guy problems and I helped him with girl problems. About three months in, things kind of fell through with my guy and shortly afterwards things fell through with his girl so we naturally came together. We started dating not very seriously at first but then feelings really kicked in. We were talking all the time, constantly in communication... things were great most of the time and when they weren't we'd work through it. The only issue was he lives on the east coast and I live on the west coast. The distance was really tough but we always managed to pull through. I'm a senior in high school now and he just moved into his college dorm a few days ago and that was when I decided I had to break up with him. We had both talked about how things would change and how it would be really difficult to maintain a relationship. We both agreed that we want to remain friends though because the thought of completely losing each other is just too much to handle. You see, the thing is, today would have been our 6 month anniversary and I'm just feeling really sad because I really didn't want things to end. Ever since we broke up I've just been a mess. Last night he messaged me at 12 am saying he missed me and that triggered an outpour of emotions... I just couldn't stop crying. I told him to please not tell me that and he knows how sad I am and he's wants to help but I told him that he really can't. He's a really good guy and I'm going to miss him. How do I get over this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Only thing you can really do for now is keep busy. take up a hobby, join a club. Hang out with friends more, keep your mind off of him as much as you can and eventually you'll be able to stop thinking about him so much.

    It's harsh but try to not respond to texts or postings of his. And do your own thing.

    Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear

    • Well school is starting for me tomorrow so I'm going to be swamped with work. 3 APs, college apps and SATs should keep me busy :/ I agree with your suggestion but I wanted to stay friends with him. Maybe I should take a break and once I'm over things we can be friends again... I just feel like I'm drowning.

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    • haha thanks :) already doing better :)

    • Glad to hear that :) you're strong than you think

      Good luck :-)

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What Guys Said 3

  • I know how you feel. I had a similar situation with an exchange student in college. She was from Brazil and moved back there after college we continued to date for about 6 months though emails and texts and Skype calls, but the distance was very tough so I broke it off because I knew I would never move down there. I kept busy by working and hanging out with my best friend it took awhile for me to move on but I have. How are you doing?

    • Today not so good :( Hopefully tomorrow will be better... I have good days and bad days... I think I need to stop talking to him for a while... I'm never going to get over him at this rate...

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    • Thanks lol I think I may take up on that offer!

    • You're welcome, do it! lol

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Over Time You Will Feel Better, You Just Have To Temporarily Cut All Contact Until Your Feelings Have Gone Down. Trust Me, It Will Take Take Time But It's Well Worth It...

    • Haha thanks :) I'm already feeling better. We've been communicating pretty minimally.

  • Cutting off contact doesn't mean that you don't love someone. On the contrary. It means you do, but it's over and you both need to move on. It's easier said than done of course, but it gets easier. There's a reason why things don't work out and sometimes we don't really need to know why. We have to let go of wanting to know why or attempting to fix it. Cut him off for a while and maybe you guys a can be cool later. You DONT know where the future will lead and you can't believe the stories in your head, which is something we all do during loss. Work on your own self love right now, and take care of you.

    • Well I know exactly why things didn't work out between us. It was primarily the distance and his lack of time management skills. So I'm not feeling the need to know why things happened. I know exactly why. I've kind of managed to shoot down stories in my head by now. Things are going better overall I just have bad days sometimes but then again its only been a little over a week. But thanks :)

What Girls Said 1

  • Maintain a busy social life. Channel your energy into something contractile like your school work
    A girl your age should not be involved with online romance.. Not the time for a HS senior look for real people in front of you.

    • I know it was a mistake. I didn't intend for it to happen. It just did.

    • Yes and that is perfectly fine! What I'm saying is how to get over it. Making mistakes and learning from them is a necessary part of our lives.

    • Ya. Not planning on doing this again!

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