Help my girlfriend not resent me?

My girlfriend resents me because I've my jealousy issues which stemmed into some serious fights. She has depression and we broke up because she couldn't handle the fighting. We are working on getting back together but the only thing that stops us is the pain I caused her which ultimately led her to resenting me. Please help
Now, she spoke with her therapist and advised my girlfriend that she should wait and she'll "just know" if I'm the right guy for her. This resentment is holding her back. Making me have doubts..


Most Helpful Girl

  • Explain to her that your jealousy has nothing to do with any wrong in her, but more your own insecurities. Let her know that you will try to work on it and become more confident in her remaining faithful. You can't stress enough that you do trust her, and it's just something you'll have to work on in yourself.

    I totally know how you feel as I'm in the same boat as you. For one reason or another I also get pretty jealous which afterwards I see is often irrational and unwarranted. I know my boyfriend would never cheat on me but still... I'm going to try to work on it despite him being willing to make certain sacrifices and not hang out with certain people. I realize that I'm only hurting myself by getting so stressed out, and by working on that issue the relationship in the long-run will certainly benefit.

    • You're completely right. All my accusations end up being unwarranted and I always regret it in the end.

      The only thing I'm trying to do is to get her to trust that I won't be the guy I use to be. But she's holding back. I guess eventually it'll work with time? Idk.

    • I agree with this. I think both of you should consider talking to professional about the trust issues and insecurities you have.

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What Girls Said 2

  • dont listen to @bubble_tea, please!

    Well, your relationship is never gonna be happy if you dont work your jelousy issues. The healing of the pain will come when she realises how you much you changed. Do not come back to old patterns! Next time you feel like fighting, remember the pain that causes her.

    • I am working on my jealousy and haven't been jealous for a little while now. Things are picking up but she doesn't trust me and she has actual resentment towards me which holds us back.

    • I see. You will have to be patient for a while, there''s no other choice. May take a few months. Doing something nice is not a bad option actually, i dont mean buying tiffanny jewelry, but like, doing something different, something that the jealous you would never do.

  • Buy her a bracelet from Tiffany's.


What Guys Said 2

  • You can't be too jealous... she needs her space as well as you... and your girlfriend needs to understand that some jealousy is good because you realy love her... you also need to stop being too physical or abusive because if you hurt her than that is a deal breaker...

  • Show her that you are taking steps to manage you insecurities.


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