In 2011 my fiance took his life in my apartment where I found him the next day, (No clue he was planning to do this). Within a year, I found my now ex boyfriend and we began a long-term relationship and rented a house together. But our relationship began to fall apart when he became stressed over financial/job matters. Some of his behavior became unacceptable and I had to set boundaries. I finally asked him to leave since because he wouldn't shape up (hoping that he'd pull it together and stay). I never thought he really would.. But he did. He left that very day and we have not communicated much since. He left a lot of his things here. It's been over a month long ordeal trying to get him to pick them up. Not because I'm angry, but because I'd like to have closure. I don't know where he's living and he's chosen not to answer attempts at contact... so it makes me uncomfortable to be in possession of his things. I have taken this break up extremely hard. I feel completely betrayed and abandoned. When Robin Williams died, I begged him to stop by just for an hour because I was hysterical (being that my late fiance also hung himself). He did not answer. I can't cope with his abandonment. It's as if he never cared for me at all. I was rejected by my family years ago and have been socially recluse since fiance died. He was all I had and he's completely gone. I feel that the world is a disgusting place. I've faced so much rejection/abandonment from the people I love that I can literally stand no more. My life has been a series of these exact scenarios and I thought that after my fiance, I'd get a break from cruelty. I haven't, at all. People I thought were my friends say things like " No wonder your fiance killed himself" etc. I'm not exaggerating. I know in my heart that I had nothing to do with his choice. Why can I attain compassion from no one? Why do people treat me as if I have no feelings/am infallible? How can I live like this?
Most Helpful Girl
Put your exes things in a small storage unit and tell him where they are. He will have a month to do it and you won't have to worry about it any more. I think you really need to focus on yourself now. If people really treat you that way I don't think they are much of a friend. The truth is you can't be happy feeling the way you do right now. If no one else will treat you well then treat yourself well. You need to know that you have value. You do have value. Even if it has been hard for you to see. Not only that you have experiences that not many of us have. Some call them hard knocks. You may feel alone. I can most definitely tell you this. You are not alone. There are countless people out there that hurt. I have never been through the things you have. Somehow I still find ways to feel bad about myself. The gift many people have in this world is to take their pain and turn it into compassion for others. So I say again you are not alone. You will find people to talk to about this and if you will let them they may help. You may also find out what a real friend is. I hope you can start by being your own friend and stop finding reasons to bash yourself.0