In 2011 my fiance took his life in my apartment where I found him the next day, (No clue he was planning to do this). Within a year, I found my now ex boyfriend and we began a long-term relationship and rented a house together. But our relationship began to fall apart when he became stressed over financial/job matters. Some of his behavior became unacceptable and I had to set boundaries. I finally asked him to leave since because he wouldn't shape up (hoping that he'd pull it together and stay). I never thought he really would.. But he did. He left that very day and we have not communicated much since. He left a lot of his things here. It's been over a month long ordeal trying to get him to pick them up. Not because I'm angry, but because I'd like to have closure. I don't know where he's living and he's chosen not to answer attempts at contact... so it makes me uncomfortable to be in possession of his things. I have taken this break up extremely hard. I feel completely betrayed and abandoned. When Robin Williams died, I begged him to stop by just for an hour because I was hysterical (being that my late fiance also hung himself). He did not answer. I can't cope with his abandonment. It's as if he never cared for me at all. I was rejected by my family years ago and have been socially recluse since fiance died. He was all I had and he's completely gone. I feel that the world is a disgusting place. I've faced so much rejection/abandonment from the people I love that I can literally stand no more. My life has been a series of these exact scenarios and I thought that after my fiance, I'd get a break from cruelty. I haven't, at all. People I thought were my friends say things like " No wonder your fiance killed himself" etc. I'm not exaggerating. I know in my heart that I had nothing to do with his choice. Why can I attain compassion from no one? Why do people treat me as if I have no feelings/am infallible? How can I live like this?
Most Helpful Guy
You have to be happy with you first. You cannot rely on anyone to make you happy. A person that you are with should go out of there way to make you feel loved and adored. Being with them should make you happy. But they shouldn't be the only source of your happiness.
Honestly he might have cut off communication with you to get over the relationship, because he needs distance. Your best bet with all his stuff is to box it up and put it somewhere. Depending on the state you live in is how long you have to hang on to things like that. Where I live its 30 days, some states its longer. But check that, if its 30 days, box it up, and call the salvation army or the kidney foundation and have them come pick it up.
For you you need to face your sorrow and your heart ache before you are going to move forward. I would be willing to bet that you blame yourself for the death of your fiance and that you feel you failed him. So you hold that with you wherever you go. You feel that he left you alone and that you dont know why he did. You feel betrayed by your fiance and your exbf.
You have a bit of work on yourself first before you are going to move forward. Its not an easy road, but it can be done.0
Most Helpful Girl
If people around you , dont care about you, then you have to rely yourself. I learnt that in this world I can only depend on myself and not other people even if they are my close friends/family.
Please pull yourself together, find a job if you haven't and focus on your energy on your work. your mind need to focus on something productive and positive. It is painful to lose someone you loved... but let time slowly fade away your wounds..1