How can I gain closure?

I had been dating this guy for about three months now. We met on an online dating site. The other day I confronted him about what he was looking for because he never made it clear. He told me he was looking for the right girl in his life but distance with us was a factor. I replied that i wish it weren't either and he never replied back to me. Then I looked on his profile the other day and he had completely changed everything so I guess he's looking again. I hate to admit but I've been heartbroken over this and how he can move on so easily. I thought we had something special but I guess not. I feel like I need closure from this, how do I go about doing it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Start by changing up what you are doing. Take some time off from relationships and let yourself mourn the loss of it. Remove him from all social media and don't check up on him. Take some time for you to figure out what you need and want. Do some things you have wanted to do and hang out with your friends. Before you know it you will all but never think about him and he will be just a part of your past. Then you will be OK to put yourself back out there again when you are ready.
    Do not contact him or hang yourself up on it. Its over and he wanted something else is all. Remember most relationships fail.

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What Guys Said 5

  • What on Earth are you even describing as 'closure'? What more do you want? You asked him what was going on, he explained the distance was too much for what he was looking for and you both parted ways. That's closure, in my book. It's over.

    Understand it wasn't anything you did wrong or anything wrong with you, just the distance.

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  • Closure is harder to get than you think. Being that he told you what he did, means he really didn't know what he wanted. He might have found someone closer and didn't want to tell you. If you wanted closure or just say what you feel, then send him a message, call him, or whatever you. Just say you know you could have said we were done, or what have you. But if he was being wishy washy about it. I dont think he was serious about it. Distance sucks, but sometimes it happens.
    Other than pouring your heart out and telling him how you felt about him just cutting off all communication with you there isn't much you can do. I have had the same problem over the years. You never really do get closure, its about letting yourself get over it, or accept that he wasn't the right guy for you and move forward.

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  • Chicks spend too much time worrying stressing while they should just make a move while they are loosing that guy if care that much. And yea it is over, He's prolly on that site looking for "some other" now as we speak lol

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  • I know exactly what you mean because I'm in a similar situation. Me and this girl were sort of dating for about 8 months. We hung out together and slept with one another basically acted like a couple. We even told each other our feelings and showed each other how much we cared. Then one day she decided to go back to her ex and just ditched me. A few months later she came back because she couldn't handle being without me and then again ditched me again. I can't figure things out how somebody can just change in a span of an hour or something and I've got no idea on how to get closure. The first time I got closure when she came back but then everything dropped again and I was back wondering what happened.
    It sucks. Try talking to him asking him what happened and what's up.
    I wish you good luck.

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    • Thank you <3 I plan on texting him tonight and if I don't get an answer I'll take that as closure. I wish you the best in your situation as well.

  • He's giving you the run around... it's best to just leave him. Or just ask him directly what he wants.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If he said that he means that! I got dumped from a guy who I been seeing almost 1 year becuz the right person! some guys believe about soulmate, right person or whatever! you can't change his mind the best way is leave him and move on :) cheers

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  • I know you don't want to let him go just yet but, trust me, you must. He won't change his mind about you, he has moved on and that's what you must do too. Stop looking at his profile, delete his messages. Out of sight, out of heart. You will be able to forget him, especially when you find someone else.

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