Why is my ex, who broke up with me two weeks ago, annoyed that I don't want to stay friends?

Hi everyone - I'm new to this site, nice to meet you! This is my first question. So my ex of 6 months broke up with me two weeks ago because he felt there was no realistic future for us (he has major committment issues). He kept contacting me like nothing has happened and when I told him he hurt me and I want to sever all ties with him, he freaked out! He's been texting me asking me to reconsider. I'm confused - why break up with me then?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think you should ask yourself, "Does it matter why he's upset I don't want to stay friends?"

    I am not a big fan of staying friends with ex's. This doesn't mean that you have to sever all ties. One can still be civil and polite and even friendly, but not necessarily friends.

    I've noticed there are three major outcomes to ex's remaining friends.
    A) Fast forward a few months or a year or so and they hate each other
    B) Fast forward a few months or so and one of the two gets his/her heart broken all over again when the other starts dating someone new.
    C) Fast forward into the future and they're still friends.

    It's been my observation that A and B are the most common outcomes.

    Oh, and welcome to GAG. Did your parents name you because of the color of your hair?

    • You're right, no good can come of it. Once you've dated, you are never really true "friends". Too complicated. I have enough friends- lol
      Thank you for your warm welcome. And no, my name is not because of my hair color - I was named after my dads favorite p*rn star- lol;)

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    • I agree- too many mixed emotions with an ex. I think about my ex that I loved when I was 21. I broke it off but I still care for him deeply. Even though I knew we couldn't end up together, it would have been hard for me to be friends with him and seeing him with other women. We talk now and then but we are in no way good friends. Oh, was kidding about the p*rn star thing, btw:)

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What Guys Said 5

  • Welcome to the site. Please enjoy your stay. Punch and snacks are over there. If anyone is bothering you please feel free to block them, and if it persists than contact one of your friendly mods. Also we have water jousting over there, and I think there is a round of tag in the room past there.

    As for your ex you dont owe him anything really. You dont want to be friends and he is being an ass by saying there is no future for you. But also take it as sign that you dodged a bullet and you are meant to be with someone else.

    • Hahaha... Thanks for the tips! Nice to meet you:)

    • Nice to meet you too. Always here to help, or at least make you laugh.

  • First off, welcome to the sight and i hope all your questions and concerns you post get resolved. Moving to your question, he may still enjoy you as a person and not want to completely lose your company. Or, he's just not that broken up about the situation and sees no problem remaining friends.

    • Hi, thanks for your response! He has a history of keeping all his exes around, even his ex wife. i think he can't deal with the fact of completely losing people - it's too painful for him. He is an emotionally shallow person and has admitted that he "rarely feels it" for anyone so he's good at shutting down and moving on. I understand him wanting to be friends, but to freak out and basically beg me to stick around?

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    • True... thanks for your advice!:)

    • No problem

  • It doesn't matter what he wants. You don't owe him anything.

    And nice to have you here!

  • Your doing the right thing to sever all ties i did so with all my ex-gf's

    • Hi, thanks for your response! I have never gotten back together with an ex, as much as I thought I wanted to. The same problems are there waiting for you:)

    • Hi there your welcome:) I absolutely agree with you
      why do these people put them self's through all that
      mayhem with going back and forth in relationships
      when they know they got issues:)

  • Welcome to the site miss. Ill keep it short and sweet. Stop wasting your time with him, I don't think he even knows what he wants at the moment, and you don't need to waste your time with him hoping he figures it out.


What Girls Said 1

  • He still wants you in his life but I don't think it is a good idea to stay friends with him after he just broke up with him. He can't have the cake and eat it too. That is his loss and if you want to sever all ties with him, I would tell him straight up to not communicate with you any further.

    • Hi, nice to meet you! I just think it's very selfish of him. Why would I want to hang around him if he only sees me as a friend? That's like torture. I have never wanted to hang out and be friends with an ex after I dumped him. Do you think he may still have unresolved feelings?

    • Possibly, but I feel that he is very selfish.

    • I agree - he is being territorial and possessive. Thanks for your input!:)

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