I was that creepy stalker?

I got dumped and panicked I did all that was wrong texting and phoning constant I can't forgive myself.. I got abuse from him and other women he was with because I kept phoning.. If I kept phoning and texting he would see I loved him or so I thought but he just kept getting angry at me, looking back I see myself as he did a pyscho and I can't forgive myself I'm so ashamed.. he eventually blocked me but came back a few months later knowing I still loved him then I went back to my old habits he called me a creep. I feel depressed that I a allowed myself to get into that state I can't move forward. I hate myself all because I loved someone so deep, I don't do it now but not a day goes by when I think about how desperate I was and people who didn't know me laugh at me. I hide away now from the shame barely go out and see people. I just hate feeling sad 24/7 and don't know who to help me.
Updates:
I ask qs on here a lot to help me cope and I'm not coping well

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, know that a lot of people have been here at some point.

    Do what you can to not be anxious or depressed over this and build back up your confidence and loving respect for yourself.

    You know now what you shouldn't do and you can avoid that.

    If you have medical insurance and feel that you need to talk to a professional about it then don't hesitate. It does not make you a creep or weird to go to one to discuss your feelings.

    everyone wants to feel appreciated and loved but just don't forget that you have to work on that yourself.

    People can tell you things that are true that you may not feel like hearing but need to but putting it into action of what you know is right is the only way that you can really grow in yourself :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Love can make people do crazy things. Its very important not to lose yourself. I think you should push what happened to the back of your mind and move on. If you can, express to him how embarrassed you feel and ask for forgiveness. The main thing is forgiving yourself. We all go a little crazy sometimes. Cheer up, girl :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, What You Did Is What People Naturally Do After A Break-Up, Even iDid It, But All You Can Do Learn From It & Move On With Life...

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  • what would you like help with?

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    • No idea anything.. advice

    • Well that doesn't narrow much down but i would have to say about other people well if they choose to laugh at you for something that you did need and still do probably need counseling about that you cast them from your life. Don't talk to them if they are simply going to be rude to you and from what you say laugh at you. the other thing is that you have admitted that you had a problem and that you did wrong but you are still holding on to the past let it go. You made a mistake a very bad judgement of choice you have clearly learned from it and should already know not to let something like that happen again and to not let yourself do those things again. I know you feel foolish but if you have learned your lesson then you need to start letting the past be the past and moving on with your life. You made a bad call people make bad calls sometime in life we learn and try to move on that's all as humans we can do. So forgive yourself and move forward.

What Girls Said 1

  • I've been this person. You can escape.

    I found, start little. The first week, I gave up one thing. I stopped going near his house. I took routes that took me away.
    The next week, I gave up looking on their online profiles. I gave up looking at the texts.
    The week after, I gave up looking at photos.

    Etc, etc. Give up one thing at a time and when you're ready, remove another thing. If you can't stay away online from them, get a friend to change your passwords so you cannot see.

    It gets easier. Don't go cold turkey all at once, you're more likely to fail. I will warn you... you'll probably slip up a couple of times and you'll feel ashamed. But you'll feel ashamed that you caved. You'll get determination back.

    It does get better.

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