Heart broken people anywhere?

So I've had my heart broken and I'd like to hear some other sad stories and maybe help with support in any way I can!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Every person has had their heart broken at one time or another. However, you have to do yourself a favor and focus on what is and not what was. I have always said that:

    "Every relationship is simply a warmup for the real one."

    My friend who I played baseball with in college says it a different (and humorous way):

    "Do you play the actual game using batting practice balls?"

    Point being, you need to focus on several things. Why are you truly heartbroken? Is it based on the loss or is it based on the rejection therein? If you were rejected, fair enough it happens, however, you need to realize what it is about yourself that was called into question and, from there, either remedy it if need be or realize that you simply didn't mesh with that particular man. If the issue stems from simply feeling lonely than you need to recognize it being a fleeting emotion and one that can easily be overcome.

    Love is simply a chemical reaction at its base level and due to this, it can thus be overcome by the same procedure if given the chance within your mind. In other words, meeting someone new will help you forget what was.

    All that said, it is difficult to give absolute and intelligent guidance without knowing more specific information into what led to the breakup, however, just realize you will move forward as time truly does find a way to scab wounds and help us reflect on what was, what is, and what will be if we let ourselves embrace it.

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    • Wow you were very specific and it was SO ture. I feel so much better now. Everyone is making me realise one bad relationship in life doesn't define your whole love life. The sad thing is it seems so. But hey, let's just keep moving forward and accept rejection and breakups as you said a "warmup"! Thank you so much!

    • You owe me!

      I'm kidding, you're very welcome.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Here's my story I'm dealing with as we speak.

    So aabout 6 weeks ago my ex broke up with me out of the blue telling me she needed space. We always had a great relationship and were friends as we'll as bf and gf. So after she cut off all contact with me and I didn't speak to her until 3 days ago when I saw her at school

    The week before she broke up with me she was telling me how lucky she was to have me and said one day she could see herself marrying me. I don't know if she was blowing smoke out of her ass but it sounded genuine. I also found out through the grape vine sheThat same day I also went as far as buying her our "2year gift" and giving her the purse. Our 2 year wasn't until September...

    was talking to some kid from her home town that she worked with 3 weeks after we broke up. I think it's a rebound thing because how do you have feeling for someone else after being with me for 2 years?

    Now that were back at school I have been acting indifferent because I want her to chase me. My philosophy is everyone wants what they can't have. Now that I'm acting like this her behavior has been strange. For example in class the other day there were 5-6 open seats and she chose the one that was close to me and facing me. Then again I saw her that day at the gym and she was using the machines closer to me when the same ones were open farther away. Then the next day she's walking around with the purse that I got for her for our 2 year.

    Now she wants to talk for closure and some people are telling me that might be a good sign because she wants to keep me close. Does anyone have any opinions what to say/ how to act to get my point across but show her I still love her and would want another shot without comming off as despite

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    • Okay do this is my advice: you need to let her know that if she wants to be with you she should be all in. I mean she can't go in and out of someones life when she wantds because that isn't fair to you. And it sounds like she's interested in you. Maybe the relationship you had with her didn't interest her enough? Like in the end, maybe it went a little south and she left. Now that you aren't going after her she seems more intrigued so listen to what she has to say about "closure" and you'll see from there. good luck and let me know what you talk about. Be honest with her but don't put her over you.

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    • Thats how I've been looking at it like but she's been keeping it very quiet. The only reason I know is because I have friends in her town (which is very small) and they told me

    • Be patient and let's see what she tells you. You never know. And if it doesn't go how you expected move on, there's someone out there for you!! Be positiveee! :))

  • Heart fixing, will come with evolution in the same time. When you will get over the last situation you will find that last one was nothing important, this happens all the time. And you will realize this some day, when you will find someone else and so on. But it's dating so things happen... so it's not a marriage! Don't worry, just have fun and live the present. Better things still to come because there is so much time ahead and you got stronger!

    You must leave the things that hurt you! as someone said: Always be strong enough to let go, and be wise enough to wait for what you deserve.

    Good luck, world not ending here!

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    • You're so right! It really motivated me to realise ONE person not wanting you isn't the worst that can happen. It's life and sooner or later the right person will come along

  • I told her that i loved her and from that day she started paying immense attention to me. I loved her a lot. Then one day i wrote to her. We were in school back then and she gave the note toothed principle. And then her parents came and her mom made her slap me. No one supported me and my parents still remind me of that and insult me.

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  • OK I'm a 22 year old shy single guy that is insecure about his looks and thinks he will never get a girlfriend

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    • The problem is that you don't try bro. Think about how much experience you will get after some months of trying. Try, make mistakes and learn from them that the next time you will know. Meet new girls and find those that fit to you. Seeking is somehow frustrating and fun, but you go ahead with each move. Just try and have fun, instead of finding excuses! We all deserve everything!

    • Confidence gives you a HUGE plus so never forget that!!! :)) and just go for it!!

  • Yeah, i know how you feel it does suck big time to be heart broken

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  • :( Im sorry I missed this. I know what it feels like :(

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    • You didn't miss it! Just join our club and tell us what happened! :)

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    • Well good, then just let her be. She doesn't deserve anybody ever! And you're above her no matter what

    • :( it sucks

  • Definitely. I don't want to go through the whole story, but the point is, every single day I still think about and miss my ex. She was the only person to ever show me that I could be loved and treasured and desired romantically/sexually. She told me she would always be there, and even though it was a long time ago, it still hurts that she's gone.

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    • You are going to find someone else and you're going to be just as happy as you were before. Maybe even more. So keep your head up and move forward with your life! Good things come when you least expect them!! Just think that lots of people have felt like you feel right now and they later in life marry and have children and are happy! Just wait :)

  • My heart ceases to exist. But it was first broken when the girl I went to prom with rejected me for another guy. Then it further became smashed when a girl who was my close friend rejected me and expected me to act like nothing happened. Then it disintegrated into nothingness when one girl I liked just ignored me when I tried to be kind.

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    • Woah just don't think like that. It makes me sad to think you're this young and feel this way! Try to be positive! Like there's always someone who WILL love you unconditionally! Honestly like there's 7 billion people in the world (7.000.000.000) and just 3 can't cause you to crumble down! Stay positive!!!

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    • I find myself not very positive when it comes to young women my age. I don't like the culture of relationships around me in college. Very brief, dramatic, and pointless.

      Sometimes it just doesn't seem like any woman is compatible with me.

    • When things not working we must analyze situations, learn from them, make changes to get better, and always try again. You have infinite chances to try! Till you will find something that you like, you won't deplete the chances. DON'T put any feeligs or leave any dreams or anything else before, cause it will get hard to concentrate!

What Girls Said 7

  • My LAST love: Dave. I was best friends with him for 2 years. Met in school. He was younger than me, but he was my type and I instantly felt attracted to him. We were talking heaps for like a month, when he left. I couldn't move on for some reason. It wasn't love at that stage, but I just couldn't move on. So I wrote him a love letter saying how I missed him and not understanding why he left (so high school I know). He said another guy that liked me told him I was just using him. Anyway, we became friends again. I hung out with him in school. Became best friends. Told him I liked him. He didn't know how to reply, so we left it at that. But we remained friends. Slowly I fell in love with him. But i was just a friend to him. I watched him date two other chicks... And him talk to me about it cuz I was HIS best friend too. And even ask me for advice. I asked once "You do realise how I feel about you, right?" and he said "I know, but you are my only best friend." So I let it go. I told him, helped him out. But felt heart broken as. It didn't work out with them. Eventually we DID hook up and have sex. Everything was well, until he started taking drugs... And I couldn't handle it, so I left. I told him before I couldn't handle dating someone who did drugs. He made out like he'd do anything for me, but he chose drugs...
    It took so much to get over him. Time mostly. Leaving school, moving away, developing crushes on new boys... But whilst I was there, nothing worked. I tried being with other guys, but couldn't get Dave out of my mind. It was so painful. Every song reminded me of him. Every place... And when him and I hung out, as friends, I'd just be HIGH from those times... Even though they meant different things to us. But that's the thing, he said he already liked me for ages! Even whilst being just friends... I'd be so addicted to him...
    The only thing that helped was moving away and not seeing him/talking to him.

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    • But my general tactic for moving on is this:
      -watch love movies for like a week or so and weep and be jealous of everyone who meets their loved one.
      -then watch comedies the following week and laugh heaps.
      -do risky shit to replace my feelings for him thrill: parachuting, parkour, sneaking into private property, paragliding, snowboarding.. you get the idea.
      -talk to friends, go out heaps. Don't make out with anyone yet as it will only feel awkward and make you think of him.
      -hope for a better future. Love comes again. I am currently in love and it is so much more epic than Dave :) And less pain, that's for sure. Believe that you meet someone again. Give it time. And have faith in the future.

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    • @Sex-Kitten I blame myself for being stupid cause I should've known better and should've listen to my heart to but its okay at least I learned. @Smartie95 Mine didn't know what a relationship was and my friends kept telling me that I'm to mature for him and I am of course. I wonder why guys mater later than girls. I just have to be careful with meeting guys that I like and make sure I start off being friends with him before I want something more serious. I'm pretty much free right now but I'm not free to dating I'm in HS and trying to focus on my studies and my schoolwork so I can get out of HS and go to college and maybe start dating again when I get into college. I feel told old sometimes, even though I'm not I'm gonna be 18 in November. I learned my lesson I'm never doing anything stupid like that ever again. And @sex-kitten try to distract yourself and do things that you love and try to forget him, trust me you will. I used to be attached to mine but not anymore it just takes time.

    • My bad, Anaya :)
      Just to clarify, I AM over Dave now and am in a way better relationship now. I am very happy and have found what I was looking for :)

  • I had my heart broken like 5 months ago but it has healed and I learned so much from my first relationship with my ex. We met in middle school and started dating but I never really got to know him I just jumped without asking myself why. And we dated through out high school I broke up with him in August 2013 and he came back to me in January 2014. I wish I had said what I needed to say but I guess when I saw him and he hugged me so tight I forgot everything he did to me and how he treated me. So in March 2014 he broke up with me right out of the blue, I didn't see it coming honestly. I tried to hold in my tears in was in the morning in the cafeteria and I asked him, "Wait, are you breaking up with me." And he said, yes. Why I didn't understand he left me confused he said it was because of school but then he brought how he has to help his parents and stuff like that which sounded like excuses to me. I cried on his shoulder, I tugged onto his arm but he just left. I see what he is now and don't understand how I could've been so blind he's a player. He flirt with other girls, he wants a relationship but doesn't know what one is, he asks like 5 girls for there numbers. He pretty much led me on like he chewed up and spit me out. I was the one that put up with him his drinking habit, loved him at his worse, and I supported him he should be happy because girls like me aren't easy to find. He started drinking like last summer in 2013 and since then hasn't stopped, I had a dream that he died though so I just couldn't do it it was to much for me. I don't deserve him now that I see it and he doesn't deserve me. I know what I want in a relationship, I know who I want to be with and everything. He cheated me on, lied to me, told me to go to hell, etc. Its been 5 months since we haven't talked and still counting. I learned a lot from my first relationship and I learned a lot about going back to ex. I've moved on though and I'm just trying to focus on my studies don't want a bf.

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    • Amen girl. Seriously you are SO AMAZING. The way you explain everything you've realised... Just wow! *applause*. He sounds like the BIGGEST JERK and he definetely doesn't deserve you. Players are the worse, and they'll end up alone. You on the other hand will find what you deserve when the time is right! I admire you for the way you've comfronted things and please keep moving forward. Don't let this idiot drag you down again, no matter how much you like him. You're worth much more than that and you're beautiful! Good luck!!! :)

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    • Just let boys be until college then and concentrate on your studies! They say love comes when you least expect it! So we'll get it both someday :) best of luck!

    • That's already what I'm doing I'm trying to focus on my studies I know what I'm going to do after high school, I can't even stand the people in my school I have two more years and then I'm done and moving back home. I'm already concentrating on my studies and already know what I'm going to do, I'm not looking for love all I really need/want is just friends right now I could care less about having a boyfriend. I'm already ready to get out of school but I still have a couple of more months to go, and I meant to say don't my bad. Take Care.

  • Ah I've had my heart broken many times and it's still broken to this day but I'm learning to get back all the pieces that were taken from me.

    -

    My sad story would have to be - I dated this one boy my 8th grade year up until my 9th grade year (in the summer), lets call him "S" we dated for 14 months (it was an LDR) we were as close as two people can be.. we knew everything about each other (at least what we told one another). and so we were inseparable, where there was him there was always me and vice versa. People still say me and "S" are like no other they've ever seen.. but I don't see it. And so time moves on, of course we falter with school and all.. and so it was our 14 month anniversary.. I remember I was so happy the firs thing I said to him was "happy 14 months!" and so he said he needed to tell me something of course, I was eager to listen to what he had to say (like always). of course.. he broke up with me.. explaining he had cheated on me with someone in real life for a whole month and decided to tell me on our 14 months? I was devastated.. I was sobbing the minute I knew he said "we had to talk" Me and "S" rarely talk but we do keep in touch.. tho my best friend says he still loves me and that me and S are meant to be.. some part of me believes that but most of me doubts it.

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  • I am kind of heart broken, or not yet.. I've met someone on holiday. you were probably already quessing but yes he lives far away. He lives in Italy and I live in the Netherlands.. I had an amazing 2 weeks with him in Italy. So he told me he loved me on whatsapp but the problem is he doesn't want to try long distance. And I am really really in love. Im only 16 but that doesn't matter because I have never felt this so strong. he's 21 so he's older and more realistic. He's afraid he will break my heart... But I rather have a broken heart after trying than that I'll regret it because I have not even tried. I know he don't want it but I'm still trying to convince him..

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    • Well one of my best friends was in a distance relationship at 16 and he lived in Madrid and she lived in Barcelona (so they were a train ride away) and it was so hard on her... Even if they saw eachother every now and then, she wouldn't stop worrying and crying and being miserable. He became obsessed with her and she with him. As you probably guessed they broke up! And I'm just saying this because MAYBE he knows something similar will happen (as you said he is older.) But talk it through with him. You can also put it off until you have the opportunity of being close to him and if he wants to then you can try again! I'm saying this because you're young and innocent! Be strong whatever happens and be positive about it! He probably loves you just as much as you do so don't be brokenhearted :)

    • Wow you are amazing! Thanks so much! He's really confused at the moment, so I'll give him some time to think about it, i'm still young ofcourse but I never felt this so strong, I love him! and yeah he just don't know. He's afraid to try it but he also really loves me so it's hard. But I really want to try it because I really really like him;) thanks again!

    • You're welcome! I'd love to know how it works out so you could message me and let me know :) the best of luck

  • I've been in love with a guy for 2 years now. Almost a year ago I finally came clean and he said no, then proceeded to treat me like a creepy stalker for saying "hi" to him more than once throughout the day for a few months, which sent me into severe depression, I lost 10 pounds, had suicidal thoughts 90% of the time, couldn't sleep and when I finally started taking meds, I still yearned for him, minus the thoughts about killing myself. I started putting on the happy face, being all goofy and acting like an air-headed optimist around people. Even though the medications had erased the gnawing pain in my heart, there was nothing happy left there, either. I lost all my motivation to do anything at all and I am still only able to carry out little more than my basic biological functions. I can't focus on anything, when I'm not eating or sleeping I just lie down on bed browsing GAG on my laptop or wander around aimlessly.

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    • You're under 18, please please please you have to realise this is not how the rest of your life is going to look like. I got my heart broken too and it felt AWFUL! You can't even imagine. And when I was 15 I was also crushing on this guy for a year and a half and he used me. He made out with me so he'd have "one more on the list" and then basically dissed me and never talked again. And i got over it! You can't let ONE bad thing that happened when you were a teenager define your whole life! Pleasee you have to realise too that killing yourself is never the option! You look so nice and sweet and you are very pretty!! Cheer up and think of everything you can do in your life yet. Don't let ONE boy out of 7.000.000.000 people bring you down! You got this! And if you want to talk further just message me! :)

  • I'm confused with whether I'm over my ex or still heartbroken. I broke up with him about 4 months ago. It was a long distance relationship and he was pulling away the entire time. We had a strong connection at the beginning before actually being in a relationship. I was hoping he was just going through a phase, but it seems like he was showing his true self. Sometimes I blamed the distance, but it was probably just him.

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  • The dad of my child left me for a 50 year old woman who was my neighbour. He blanked me and his child in street and has nothing todo with my son.

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    • Oh i'm so sorry! That's awful! I have a friend who had something similar happen and now she found someone AMAZING and everything turned out okay! We must never lose hope, I just see everything as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Hope it all turns out better soon! :)

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