Need advice! Separeted from husband of 10 years. We both still love each other. I lied to him 10 years ago, now he still can trust me?

I lied to him 10 years ago. We decided to stay together and we had a child. Now we are separate because I found out he was emotionally involved with someone. I tried everything I could to keep my marriage. He kept pushing me out. I was very hurt. Finally decided to start talking to other guys, but never got involved, just casual conversation in fact I do not think I want to get involved again with a guy ever. My husband and I never really splitted because we still kept contact kissing etc and still said we love each other but fought every time we saw each other. Now, he is jealous and thinks I am playing around when I am not. I have been faithful all this time and I truly love him. He says he can trust me. What a girl to do? How can I show to him I am not lying even though things may seem so on the surface?


Most Helpful Girl

  • What was your lie about? Was it something very major? 10 years is a very long time to spend with someone. It's a long time to be thrown away as well. You both need to come together and make a full discussion about what's going on and what it takes to make it work again. What's triggering the arguments? Him thinking about the past and getting jealous? If that is the case then it boils down to him and trying to help him let go of it. Both of you need to realize that arguing isn't going to help neither one of you. It's only going to keep driving you further apart. If y'all both keep saying you love each other, continue the kissing, then something is obviously still there. He needs to stop pushing you out and away. Sit him down and be straight forward. Start with saying something like, "Look, it's apparent we still love and care about each other, what does it take to make this work? I need you to stop pushing me out and work with me on this. We are both emotionally and physically connected to each other with a child involved as well." If it doesn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be, sadly. If that's the case then it's best to move on and put your child first and do whatever you can for him/her. A single parent is better than a hostile living environment. First things first though, try to make him sit down and discuss/spend time together. I wish you the best and I hope it gets settled out and better.

    • Jealous is what triggers the arguments. He gets jealous for the most stupid things, at least I think is stupid because I love him and would not cheat on him.
      He lied to me too and I am willing and able to trust him, I always trust what he says, but he can not do the same.

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What Guys Said 2

  • spend a lot of time with him. ray together, too many people seem to forget that there is God who works to help us on a daily basis.

  • Spend some quality time together.. talk & just let it out... whatever you feel , whatever you've done wrong... Express you're feelings and thought. If you truly love him don't leave him & keep trying.

    • I have not done anything wrong all I do is cry all the time sometimes I beg his attention. He is giving his time to a friend now, very little to me. We just fight because we are jealous.

    • Love and jealousy don't go hand in hand.. Be patient... stop being jealous

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