My mind is juggling a lot right now I need done help figuring this out?

My ex and I got together a month after she ended a long term relationship. At first she spoke about her ex a lot but that went away after I brought it up to her and she said it was just crazy to her how ours was better than her last. I always noticed she flirted with other guys a good amount and when I brought it up she said she didn't even notice but she kept on talking to guys who just wanted to get into her pants literally. We fought a bit about trust. Our relationship boomed around 4 months in we were obsessed with each other. Then another guy came up who professed his love for her and flirted uncontrollably yet she kept talking to him. Then he excused himself realizing she had a boyfriend but she just wanted to keep in contact knowing it made me uncomfortable. We were everything to each other at least she was for me I loved her more than anything. Fights started coming up for stupid reasons yet through all that I still loved her and she still fought for me. The fights kept coming up I was stressed with my mom who was sick with cancer. Towards the end she started getting fed up. She left to Australia for a one month trip knowing I was having a hard time at home and said she'll be back with me before I know it and was afraid id forget her. 5 days in she told me how much she wanted to be single, how she wished she had more time without a boyfriend and she isn't sure she wants to be with me anymore because of that. I broke up with her at that moment and she barely fought this time. I came back apologizing because I acted out of pain and how stressed I was with my mom. She wouldn't take me back. After she came back she kept on saying she's over me but wouldn't stop trying to make me jealous and even kissed Me while drunk and cried. Then weeks later she. got. the. guy. she. was. with. on. her. trip. to harass me over text. We agreed we should try to be friends because we have the same friends group. Anyway what was I to her? I still for some reason want her back
Updates:
Around friends she's always negative towards me. I treated her amazingly and our break up wasn't awful. She glances over to me and while drunk told our friend she better not hook up with me
Other times she cried then texted it was still hard seeing me, now she's just acting like a slutty bitch with a new personality

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay. so let me tell you something you won't like. Based on what you said she sounds like an uber B**. To answer your questions "what was I to her?" You were her emotionaly invested puppy dog with apposable thumbs. She's a girl that likes attention, and when she's not flirting around she's making sure she's got a back-up plan to fluff up her ego when she's at home and there aren't any readliy cute guys. It also gives her status to have a boyfriend in certain situations. She may have grown to care about you-- again as one cares for their puppy that loves them unconditionally. But she was never IN love with you. She wouldn't come back to you while in a forgein country because- 1. she's in a forgien country where she can be loose and hook up with guys with cute accents (plus its thrilling) and 2. didn't come back afterwards because she felt like she had gained confidence and no longer needed a fluffer.

    I personally think her later actions are just a weird way of keeping you on her leash. It could be giving her a drama thrill or she could be just not be over the fights that you guys had and is holding a grudge. As to the thing about the guy who like her that she wouldn't stop talking to. If he was a good friend most girls wouldn't drop the guy, but its also possible he was her back-up plan if things went south with you. And secondly, for the while she was drunk statement about her friend not hooking up with you. It could be that she A- doesn't want you to be happy because of said grudge or B- is having a power stuggle in her clique to hold up that she's leader of the pack and stopping people from hooking up with you is how she keeps power. This is all a very negative view- but if you think deep down inside she's a nice person-- your question wouldn't have been so negative either. So going by how negative your question places her-- this is the response I've chosen to give. Also-- never date a girl on the rebound- they tend to be users.

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    • A few days ago she gave a guy that she got with on her trip my number. He texted me a bunch of bs of how I cheated on her and crap. which I never did. Then he ended up promising to kick my ass for her. I'm not afraid I think the whole thing was stupid. But what's her reasoning behind giving that guy my number and then denying it and lying saying she tried to stop him from talking to me

    • It means she was trying to rile up the other guy to see what reaction she could get out of him and it back fired. He probably asked for the number and wouldn't take no for an answer and then he texted you mean stuff. My best guess just because he was a misinformed asshole. She was probably embarassed that he got all macho on you, because she was only saying those things to get "support" from him-- if you catch my drift. She probably did try to stop him from talking to you because that probably wasn't part of her original devious plan. Some girls will talk shit about their ex's if they think it will get another guy to do stuff with her. Or it could be that she's just holding a grudge against you, bad talked you to a guy and asked him to harrass you, and then is now denying it because noone likes to be called out on the crazy mean shit they do. What it boils down to is that everything she's doing is just a game. Sure it's twisted.. but she's gonna play as long as she can.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You deserve so much more that. You sound me in the relationship I just out of. Please get over her she was obviously not into it like, you were. It sucks and it's hard believe me I know I'm going through it right now. You seem like a good guy and trust me there are many women out there who really do want a good guy. Keep your head up and be strong. Don't let some lame chic destroy your self esteem.

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  • dude you're a grown man, read what you just wrote. Why would anyone put up with a psyco drama case like her? Do you like being played? She doesn't give a damn about you. For Gods sakes your Mom was sick with cancer. She could have cared less.
    Id be there in a heartbeat and give unconditional moral support if my bf was in that kind of situation.
    Quit being a pussy and investing time in women who are NOT worth you time, especially at you age.

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