Online dating drama. What should I do?

So I met a girl on interpals a few months ago from Korea and we like each other. There is a huge time zone difference and she's in school for 14 hours a day. We still manage to Skype each other for at least an hour every other day but that's about it. We are both virgins, both new to relationships etc. I will be getting stationed in Korea in May (9 months from now) and she's willing to wait for me as I am for her. However I met this AMAZING GIRL like... literally the best girl I've ever talked to in my entire life. She's from my country but in a far off state. I really really like her and she really really likes me (I actually met her on here). We literally spend all day and all night talking to each other constantly without ever getting bored of each other and already have plans of meeting each other some time in the near future She's very well aware of the situation with the Korean girl and has been since before we even started getting feelings for each other. She is perfectly willing to step back and respect my situation but I am convinced that I love her and that she is the one. I told the Korean girl that we should put things on hold because it's too tough to commit with our distance and lack of free time but now I want to break it off completely. The problem was that I was always worried that she'd end up meeting someone special before I go there but I'm the one doing it to her it seems. I feel really really bad and I don't know how to tell her without feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world. Obviously she has to find out somehow and I respect her enough to want her to know. How should I do this? It's not in my nature to take the coward way out (block her and cut ties etc) What should I do? I've never fallen for a girl so fast in my life. She surpassed my feelings for the Korean girl in just a few days (because we talked so much and she's amazing). I am 100% convinced that she is the perfect girl for me.
Anyone? :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just flat out tell her. Be cool about it though. I mean.. in all honestly most people don't put too much stalk in online relationships when you haven't met the person. I think the korean girl will understand. I wouldn't tell her you were leaving her for another girl cuz that's just not cool. But I would say something like- hey, i've been thinking a lot about our situation and I really just want to be friends- If you don't want to be friends though- the beauty (and downfall) of an online relationship is that you can quit it cold turkey and there's not much the other person is going to do about except feel a little shitty for a day or two then get on with their life. You could just stop talking to her completely too (although you seem like a guy that would feel guilty about something like that). An online guy did that to me after endless talks and flirting- and i didn't really care all that much because there was really no physical connection on my part- or I should say that I wasn't emotionally invested because I knew it was just an online relationship. And until you actually meet someone in person. That's all it is. It's very easy to get over something like that.

    • I think you're right... I just don't know how to tell her because this was my biggest fear. I thought SHE would meet someone and dump me and I always expressed this fear to her. Now I'm doing it to her. I don't know how I can possibly just friend zone her after that. I already broke it off with her but under the terms of "waiting until I actually go to Korea"

    • yeah.. kinda made it a little worse with the "wait till korea" stuff. But I know it's your worst fear. But imagine you recieving that worst fear in person. Or going out with this other girl while leading the korean chick on. You'd feel twice as bad and guilty. Not to mention your other relationship (no matter how open) could get damaged if you keep the korean stung along because your other girl will start to question why you haven't already ended it yet. You don't have to friend zone her, but you do have to do something. You have to make a choice, and just go with it. Grab life by the balls-- so to speak-- and be with the girl you want to be with. If you need an excuse for the girl i'm sure you could google hundreds that you could say, but I'm sure with all this interal debate going on with you she probably already sees this coming.

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