How do I try and forget my ex?

I have tried and it's been over a year, I don't look for him because I know it would hurt me to even check up on him, but I spend so much time thinking about him it hurts, I feel the years I grew close to him were for nothing and wish I'd never met him, yet deep down I love him so much I loved him enough to let him go, I fought hard to keep him but he lost interest when there was other options. people tell me to move on but it's difficult for me.. anyone with good advice to help me to stop thinking of him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Things like this are never easy.

    First, you have to realize the time you spend together was not a waste in the slightest. They were good and happy days which you greatly enjoyed. You have experienced a lot of good things in the time you were with him and you have also learned a lot. The fact that it ended does not change this. They are happy memories and many, many people would rather have bittersweet memories of a past relationship than none at all.

    You have to accept the situation. This sounds simple, but as you know, it is the hardest part. You have to be okay with the fact that it ended, however sad it makes you feel. The fact that he lost interest makes this harder on you. You did nothing wrong. Neither person in a relationship should feel the need to drastically change themselves for their partner's sake. That isn't a fair or healthy relationship. It is good that you already got to the point of realizing this.
    You have to continue living your life. You will eventually get used to your new baggage. When you find yourself thinking about him, don't beat yourself up about it. Don't tell yourself that you need to stop thinking about it. Instead, recognize that you are thinking about it and allow it for just a few seconds. Then continue with your day. If you continue to put negative pressure behind thinking about him, you make it harder on yourself. You are only human and you will think about him from time to time. That is okay.

    You will get through this. Give yourself time to heal and you will be okay. :)

    I will be here if you have any more questions.

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    • I just feel it was all for nothing

    • Do you feel like you haven't learned or experienced anything which is valuable to you even after the break up?
      It is depressing that the relationship had to end this way. It is true that part of the relationship was for nothing because it ended. This doesn't mean the relationship itself and the things you experienced are worthless though. A lot of things in life end, but this does not make them any less valuable.
      I hope you understand that you have to try and stop thinking so negatively about this. It is sad that it happened, but it did happen. You cannot change that and you should accept this. Try to stop thinking so negatively about it. That is what is holding you back from getting over him.

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