Did I make the right choice in the end?

My boyfriend of 1 year me had a good relationship. 6 weeks ago he was at my house and fell asleep on my couch. His best friend kept blowing up his phone with text messages and I was wondering if something was wrong. Me and my BF had a open relationship with our phones, had each other's passwords and would sometimes look at messages or social sites. I didn't wake up my BF but I choose to open his phone myself to see what his friend wanted and let him know he was sleeping. The friends texts just said " hey answer your text".
Then I decided to look down further into their earlier messages and I don't know why. A few days before my BF was texting this girl we're both friends with. They had texted before but this week it seemed different. He said they were just friends. So maybe I looked because I was pissed. I was very hurt when I found a message between my BF and his friend from a few days earlier. In the texts my BF told his friend I was "mean" and a "bitch". He made fun of the way I looked in a bikini and told his friend I was " dumb". Then his friend made fun of my acne saying he could "count the pimples" and my BF sent a bunch of LOL's. I was devastated about what my BF said. He was always so sweet, loving and complimentary to my face. I felt so betrayed. I was ashamed about going into his phone so I never told him what I did. But I couldn't let go of what I read. I tried to forget but It began to eat away at me emotionally. He asked If something was wrong but I just said no. I broke up with him 3 weeks ago and not even in person. I think he was shocked and now he won't even speak to me. I was awful to go into his phone and I was 1000% wrong. Why does a guy talk about his GF like that to his friends? Is this normally how guys vent to each other? Why would he say that stuff if he loved me? I miss him so much but I now wonder if the guy I loved even loved me. Did I make a mistake by not telling him what I did and not confronting about his text? Feedback Please.
I want to make sure to emphasize how ashamed I was that I looked at his messages. I don't want anyone to get the idea I in anyway thought my behavior was okay
Looking for more feedback from guys if making fun of/ venting to your friends about your girlfriend is normal or if it's something any guys on GAG do.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry he was such a jerk. You did the right thing by dumping him. Since the phone was blowing up, then you also did the right thing by checking it to make sure something wasn't wrong.

    • I guess I was looking for a guys feedback about if it's normal that guys vent to their friends about their girlfriends like this? And I guess we all vent to our friends and when we vent we don't expect anyone to hear what we say. But this seemed so vicious tbh. Is this venting normal? Why would a guy I dated a year who said he loved me so much say this stuff?

    • Show All
    • You're trying to apply logic when there is none. Maybe he gets his kicks controlling you as his girlfriend. Maybe he was using you for sex. You never know. Some people can be very two faced and cruel. It sounds like he is one of them. I would recommend just moving on and stop wasting your energy trying to figure out something that you never will.

    • Thanks for your feedback. I agree with you but I'm getting people having different ideas about this.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Text him back and say how sorry you were before you go all obsessive over him and also if he dont reply. Go over to his place and tell him how much you love him and shit

    Quick before he gets on with another chicks O. P

    • Well since I broke up with him 3 weeks ago he won't speak with me, ignores me and won't even look at me. He really doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't tell him what I did now because it's too late.

  • thats the spirit... dont get back


What Girls Said 1

  • You did the right thing. One day you will meet a guy who loves you in a bikini and thinks your face is beautiful. Why be with a guy who doesn't think that of you?

    • Yeah that's why I broke up with him. But then some people told me that guys vent like that all the time about their girlfriends. And we all say things about people we wouldn't want them to hear and I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to see the messages. But I still felt so attacked. He treated me like a princess and was never in any way disrespectful to me, not that I knew of anyway. One of my friends said good thing I saw the messages.

    • Out of curiosity, who told you that guys speak badly about their girlfriends looks?

    • I asked a couple of my guy friends and some said he was being a jerk and others said that that's how guys bitch about their girlfriends to their guy friends. And I'm close with my moms Cousin who's older and she gives me advice on stuff.

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