I really need advice please... help!!?

so i was going out with my ex for 3 years. everything was fine until one day he randomly wanted to be single and just go out with the guys. he would tell me he was done with me forever and to stop talking to him. i would randomly see him out at clubs and he would be mean to me. 4 months later he came crying and begging for me back so i took him back. We went out for another year and then we had a stupid fight and broke up and he said all the same things like he's done forever, he doesn't love me, he doesn't see himself ever going back out with me. then he said "its not you its me, its everything about me. so a month goes by that we are broken up and i went to his house to get my stuff back. i went inside and we were taking about how each other was, and life. he leaned in and kissed me and said "sorry i had to do that" then he wanted to have sex and i said "ok but do you love me" he said yes. so after that he told me he has a day off in 2 days and we can hangout. the night before we were going to hangout i texted him and said "are we still hanging out tm" he said "idk". i then asked if he only hangout with me for the sex and he said "yes I'm not going to lie". but he said he felt a connection? i then said "what is wrong with me that you don't want to be with me" he said "idk i just want to be by myself now, nothing is wrong with you"... does he really not love me? I'm so confused. i regret having sex with him. he doesn't hangout with his friends. he stays home playing vid games. he never drank when we were together. now he drinks at home while he's playing his games. i saw the alcohol when i was over... he's 22, works at a liquor store and is currently taking classes to get his high school diploma that he never got. does he just want to work on himself? when we were together we would always talk about the future getting married and kids... now its nothing? I don't know what to think...
Updates:
I'm doing better! i haven't talked to him at all! just trying to focus on myself :) thanks!

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What Guys Said 2

  • He is a emotional guy. If you need him, you need to have lot patience. so think of it. You need to bare, try to tell him you love him all the time. tell him put concentrate on his career.

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    • i tried that. i helped him get in school and everything. whenever he was mad he wouldn't talk about his feelings and would get mad when i asked "whats wrong". now we break up over a stupid fight and he "wants to be alone now". its so frustrating. When we break up he acts like he doesn't care and i don't mean anything to him. That hurts...

  • It seems like a big mess. My advice is to move on. It will be hard but not impossible. He is just keeping you there for his own needs. If you're are not being met then no need to stay there and get hurt. Only you can allow him to hurt you and break your heart. Stay away and protect your heart. I been in your situation and trust me first few days weeks even months will suck but it will get easier and you will start feeling way better after. You deserve the best. You deserve to be someone's priority and focus not just a booty call. I wish you the best and I hope you do what's best for you.

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    • thank you so much

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    • we broke up in the beginning of August and when i went there to get my stuff in the end of August our pictures were still up in his room. Why would he keep them up if he doesn't want to be with me or anything? its weird... and says he "wants to be by himself now". why though? he says nothing is wrong with me. does he just want to work on himself? its so confusing...

    • How are you doing? Are things better? I hope you are well!

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