Confusing ex sending mixed signals?

So a bit of back story, my ex girlfriend and I dated for 4-5 months, things were going amazingly, up until I lost my job, became an utter depressed mess, lied to her about a few things, and her as a total fitness buff hated the fact that I just sat at home all day. I never cheated on her, never treated her wrong, may have even been a bit too passive and unaware at times because the warning signs were there.

We broke up 2 months ago. I read articles, spoke to therapists, did everything I needed to in order to turn myself around and get myself out of the funk I was in when we broke up. I decided after the breakup that that was not the life I wanted to live and I decided to better myself. We've talked here and there, and it seems as though she is openly hostile towards me and almost a bit bitter about the fact that I'm doing so well. I went from being a total couch potato, eating like shit, doing absolutely nothing with myself. To someone who works out 5-6 days a week, usually twice a day. I have a huge social group of friends, multiple groups actually, and have performed a complete 180 compared to what I was like when she left me.

Now the motivation behind my drastic turn around was without a doubt due to my desire to get her back. She says she is over me yet still posts stuff on social media about second chances, given time two people will get back together, she's practically stalking me on SnapChat. I'm just confused as to what she's thinking. She says she's over me yet she's doing all that, and now she's started texting my sister asking her questions about me, seeing how I'm doing. Asking mutual friends if I'm doing well. It's just utterly confusing.

I want to get back together with her. After careful deliberation, I stopped talking to her for a month to evaluate how I feel about her, and without a doubt I love her. I just want a second chance to give her the relationship that she should have had with me to begin with..


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ughhh this is great makes me want cry. You're doing so well !! Sorry about the job loss and depression I know how that is !! But kudos on the turn around !! She loves you plain and simple. She just doesn't want to seem desperate. You said you never treated her wrong but yet you lied to her. You're doing great , and she hates that !! Because the fact that you're doing great without her (to her knowledge) but maybe you should let her know that the break up and some help from professionals and time to yourself made you realize that want her. I commend your patience , you want to thoroughly evaluate everything. That's good , not for her though. Each day you think to yourself the more she's going to "move on" . Her feelings aren't mixed. This is all if she's a normal girl !! If not then leave her alone safe crazy Haha !! Goodluck !!

    • The job that I had before I was encouraged to lie. I was in sales and it was standard practice to do anything necessary to get a sale. Sometimes that included lying to customers. It sucked, and I hated it, and I let it spill into my personal life. I've dedicated myself to being honest with everything, regardless of what people think. She says she's over me, she says she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. It just feels like a total gut punch because I want nothing more than to show her who I truly am and let her experience the kind of relationship she should have had in the first place with me..

    • Oh noo :( !!! I completely understand !! Damnit !! I'm literally going through something similar. Like if you just had one chance To prove. If she's stupid enough to walk away , be smart enough to walk away

    • *to let her go sorry lol

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What Guys Said 1

  • Here's what you do. You have to be willing to take the Loss.

    You call her up and say "Ex, listen - I've done a lot of thinking. I made a ton of mistakes when we were together, and as you can see I have worked VERY hard to overcome those shortcomings. I know you've been asking my sister about me, and I've been thinking about you as well. I want to start trying to reconcile with you. So I'm asking you out on a date for next Saturday. Know that if you aren't into it, I don't hold any animosity to you, but I'll need you out of my life. The emotions I have about you will keep me from moving on and being happy if I am still around you. Otherwise, I'll pick you up at 7. I will consider this a first date. Will you go out with me?"

    • That logically sounds like a great plan. Getting her to say yes just is an uphill battle. She's told me she's over me, and isn't mad, yet still following me on Instagram liking posts. It's just confusing. I'd absolutely be down to try that, but she just seems so emotionally closed off to me that I wouldn't even know where to start.

    • Show All
    • I understand that I've positioned myself nicely to attract many other women. The problem I'm having is the fact that I'm not even interested in other women's attention. In the 2 months that we've been separated, I've become a pretty prominent person in the Motorcycle Riding Community here where I live. I've gotten attention from other women and the fact that I'm turned off seems to attract them more. My problem I'm having is that I want to have a second opportunity to have the relationship with my ex that I should have had in the first place. I wasted an opportunity and I need to resolve that before I feel like I could move on.

    • That's why you shit or get off the pot, now

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