How do you know if a relationship is worth getting back, or if you need to move on?

I ask this without the usual reasons for leaving-- i. e. he didn't beat me or anything, we got along great and we barely fought. For the most part we talked through our problems, and i'm fairly confident if we were to get back together we could try to work through whatever was bugging us recently.

But how do you know if once you drift apart, if it's worth trying to rebuild the love you lost?

How do you know if that person is or isn't the one for you?

What if the future doesn't hold anyone better, and you lost a person that truly got you even if you aren't always attracted to him?

My relationship was for 2 years. If you've been dating someone for two years (half-living in their apartment for some of it) shouldn't you know if you want them to live with you/marry them in future at some point?

Disclaimer: Broke up because of distance, and lack of intimacy on my part, and trust issues on my part ( In general I have a hard time trusting anyone due to stuff in my past. I don't mean trust issues like I was a crazy jealous person; I mean that I felt I couldn't tell him personal things - like having depression- or that I stopped wanting to have sex because I didn't want to get hurt or I wasn't into it; ie have him get visibly frutrated at me because I'm not good at teaching/ telling him what to do, and not being arorused so it hurt physically too.)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • okay.. so as i understand you broke up because there were some issues you didn't like on each other... but i believe that when you are in a relationship you should fight to keep it alive and put aside the issues the other person has especially if it was a 2 year one.. so if you didn't manage to do that and chose to break up then i dont feel like its the right thing to restart again a new relationship but you could always try it out and see how it goes! i think deep inside you know if he is the one thats an answer no one can give you only you can know this.. good luck:)

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    • hmm... when I asked to break up he didn't say anything. He walked away and I tried to ask him later if he needed to talk that I was around but he said he needed time. But I don't think he meant to talk about why we broke up, I think he needed time to just talk as friends with me again. Even if I don't know if getting back together is the right thing or not should I at least talk to him about what I felt, and explain more what was wrong with us. It's been two weeks of no contact, and I just really miss him. His hugs, and our conversations, and really just him. I'm just worried that the problems we had can't be as easily fixed as talking about it, and trying could ruin any hopes of friendship if it goes south a second time.

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    • Thank you a bunch!!!

    • my pleasure!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Take a step back and analyze y'all's relationship and the reasons that y'all broke up. Are they things that you honestly feel can be fixed? If yes, then it might be worth it to give it another shot.

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  • I think it's okay to try it again as long as it wasn't a rough break up.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I knew my relationship with my ex wasn't worth getting back together because of how he treated me and how he led me on to thinking he loved me, and cheated on me etc. I tried so many times to keep our relationship moving and working but he didn't put any work whatsoever. He was to busy drinking and I could just see it in his eyes. He broke up with me because it was to "hard" for him when in reality he didn't do anything or put effort into the relationship. I kept trying and trying and I kept telling him I need you to put in effort as well but it just wasn't working anymore. So he left me in March 2014 and its been about 6 months since we've talked. He was my first love actually but I don't see me going back to him anytime so. I guess everyone changes every once in a while. I guess the person you know becomes the person you know. My ex didn't really know what a relationship was, and he didn't know how to do his part. It lasted about 5 years actually. Its okay to try again in a relationship but not everyone deserves a second chance. I gave my ex so many chances and he gave me nothing but excuses. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance but not the same mistakes. I was the only one fighting for us honestly and then I just felt like it was all just breaking apart. I was stupid to go back to him but I learned my lesson

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    • so ur saying that I should try it again with my ex, even if i'm not sure how it'll turn out, and even though I don't know if I want to live/marry him after 2 years of dating? He's graduating college in a year, and i've still got a year anda half from now... so itl'l probably get complicated..

    • I'm just giving you a little bit of advice if you don't want to take it then that's up to you I understand, but I moved on because nothign was working and I was just staying stuck in a place where I didn't belong. Do what makes you happy, if that's what matters to you, if you want to be with him then you be with him, your choice not mine I just thought I'd give you some advice if you don't want my advice you don't have to take it. Well as for me I moved on from mine and just decided to focus on school for now so I can get out early but the decision is yours.

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