Please help Important... Is there hope? or should I give up? and how do I handle this?

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago because she said she lost attraction because i was “clingy” and “needy”. But the thing is i really did need her. (a week before we broke up she told me how much she loved me and she could one day see herself marrying me and i bought her a 2 year gift that didn’t even happen yet and gave it to her). i also found out she is defiantly started talking to this kid about 3 weeks she started talking to some guy she worked with at home (I'm in college with her). i think its a rebound but still.
I finally sat down and spoke with her and she told me that she stated to loose feelings. She said it started back in march and she held it in until she broke up with me (not right on her part). and when i asked what happen she just said it didn't work out. i didn’t know there was a problem until the day she broke up with me. She said she wanted to still be friends but i told her i wasn’t ready for that right now because i still loved her.

Is it possible to lose attraction that fast and can it come back?
If so, what should i do to increase my odds of it coming back?
i think this kid is coming up here this weekend. how do i deal with that?
Any other advice in this will be appreciated


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "But the thing is i really did need her". There's the problem. You NEVER need someone else in your life, you are a whole person and when you are in a relationship, you share your life. But never give. So no, you don't need her because she hasn't taken anything from you. That is not how relationships should be stabilized.
    The guy could possibly be a rebound, but rebounds tend to happen when the feelings of loss and breaking up are new. She says she has been losing feelings for you for awhile, so chances are she was already moving on beforehand. However that was indeed weak and wrong of her to hide it from you.
    However, yes I can see this guy being a rebound if you two had dated for about 3-6 months. 3 weeks seems too soon if your relationship was based off love and commitment.
    I would let things play out and let time heal. I think she just needs time to herself and it is obvious she is still into you somewhat by trying to talk to you. If you love her, let her go, and if she loves you she will come back. Just don't be "clingy" in the way she said you were by trying to contact her as well.

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    • That's what I've been doing and I haven't gone out of my way to talk to her. I've been acting indifferent since I've been back I just don't get why if she was over me fully and I told her I didn't want to be friends with her why she would still try and talk to me and even go as far as giving me answers on a test

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What Girls Said 4

  • It's not she lost attraction... it's more so she lost love in you! She is still trying things out and wants to venture so she knows you will be there for her that's why she wants to keep you as a friend... but don't go back font be her friend because you will hurt yourself more!! You say "kid" so I take it he is young and THAT ONLY SHOWS that she feels as young as him venturing... she is experimenting new things new feelings feeling like she is a teen... let her have u r spotlight but don't wait for her and DON WANT HER BACK... because what makes you think that later on down the line if u do get her back she won't walk out on you with a family or a marriage?

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    • he's supposedly our age but but i think you might be right about her wanting to go out and explore. but do you think she will come back or no?

    • and do i pay her no mind because o this kid or still act friendly

    • I think once she is done playing HOUSE she will want to come back because your that structure/ stability... but she will come back to you for the wrong reasons! No one stops/starts loving someone from one day to another... she wants you as a friend so she knows your life and at the same I me keeps you close enough to were she can just fall right back to you if she needs to... I wouldn't MAKE HER TO BE SOMEONE IN MY LIFE... I WOULD COMPLETELY cut all ties and loose ends with her because YOU WILL PUT YOURSELF IN A TOUGH PICKLE BEFRIENDING HER WHILE SHE DATES A GUY WHOM SHE CHEATED YOU WITH

  • First of all, you shouldn't put things in your mind that haven't happened yet. You got her a gift for a two-year anniversary that hadn't happened yet. That's bad on your part and not something that made any sense.

    It's possible for attraction to come back but it can leave again just as quickly as it did before and as quickly as it came back. Happened to me. My ex broke up with me. Got feelings for me a year later and then lost them a few months later. I got lead on from a drunk fuck up on his part.

    Let this go, do something constructive to move on. You cannot and will not change her feelings. And any actions you have with her in this vulnerable and hurt state will not help you---it will hurt you. You'll have to figure out the best way to handle it yourself. Therapy/talking to people helped me.

    That's all I have to say on this.

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  • yes it can happen that one lose the attraction but it depends on the person how fast or slow that happens.
    yes it can come back but I say that if she didn't apreciate you then let her go.

    she'll regret it one day so you just gotta move on and you'll find someone better that does value you, don't make any drastic desitions.

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    • It might be selfish but if I want her back or not I just want her to want me if that makes sense. I want her to realize what she lost.

      I do really love her tho and want her back

    • look I know it hurt and your feelings won't go away but everything happens for a reason so even though it hurts let her go. In time she will realize her mistake but you'll be wiht someone better that values you and really loves you.

  • She's childish and young minded and obviously does not know what she wants. She just wants her cake and eat it to. It's not love it's more of an obsession.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I've been in a state like this shortly after a break up - one in which you feel as though she is the only woman you could be interested in. People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you reject it in your gut. This is obsession, and I will propose a way to deal with it, as I think it is improbable that you will resume your relationship with this woman, and that even if you were to resume it repeated separation would be likely.

    Start looking at other women, and do little favors for them. Hold the door for girls whom you don't know, and make nothing of it. Assist girls who are going through any kind of ordeal - bring an umbrella on rainy days so you can give or share it, help those who are carrying heavy things. Give more extensive help, as well as friendly gifts to women whom you do know - for instance, I do woodworking projects for the women in my life. This, and friendliness you may receive in return for your actions, will make you much more aware in your gut of that you have other options - women with whom you might feel more appreciated and generally happier.

    Personally, I'm staying single for a good long while - I do a lot more favors for women when I'm single, and not only does it make me feel good, but I get much more appreciation from them than I've ever gotten from a romantic partner, due probably to that they weren't expecting it.

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  • First Off, Stop Looking At Her Social Life & Stop Keeping Up With What She Is Doing With Other People, It's Not Worth It & Eventually It Will Hurt To Know Some Things, Ignore Her & Move With Your Life, Stop Tryna Speak & Be Friendly. Let Her Live Her Life & You Live Yours. Unfollow Her On Twitter. To Answer Your Question, More Than Likely She Just Wants Your Attention, Dont Give In & Let Her Have It...

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