Should I move on or does he still care? What do I do?

He broke up with me a year ago. We dated for 8.5 years. I was devastated for a really long time. We recently began speaking again. I should say he tried for MONTHS to talk to me & I refused. He emailed me a bunch.. Even went as far as to try to talk to my sister to get to me. I was soo hurt. Eventually I let my guard down & we began speaking casually.

Then it became clear their were feelings still there for both of us. We've slept together a few times since June. He's told me he still cares & thinks about me all the time.

We talk all the time. I've noticed he texts me more & goes out of his way to talk to me usually about inside jokes or literally what he's done that day. I don't ask. He initiates all conversations. So the other night my dog was missing & he came over to help me look. ( didn't tell him he found out through a friend).

The next day he texted me about the dog and then said "Wanna cuddle? I have to work n go to school but i feel like you could use a good cuddle as well ha"

Sooo I went over his house. We watched tv & cuddled. I lied down on his chest & could feel his heart was pounding! I asked him if he was ok and he said he was fine... and then he started kissing me. It was pretty intense & romantic.

He's in school full time. & interning & working. I don't want to pressure him but I need to know if this means anything or am I being delusional about us possibly getting back together. I get a vibe like he's scared to get back together & he's very busy.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He still cares, it's obvious. He broke up with you, figured out early on it was a mistake, tried to get back, sounds like he is knocking himself. And you are still smarting from the breakup and are understandably cautious. It doesn't sound like you two have had "the talk" that might include how hurt you were by the breakup, that you don't want to go through that again, what do each of you want if you are spending time together again. Are both your thinking about becoming a couple again? You aren't in high school, you are old enough to have a serious discussion about what you want and expect of each other. Good luck!

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    • Honestly not sure what it is he wants. He's told me he misses me & thinks about me all the time, & that he's scared to get back together. He said " your the real deal & I don't ever want to hurt you again" ... He's in school full time & just started a new job so I've been laid back about it cause I don't want to pressure him or be annoying about us. At the same time it's all I ever think about. I do love him still even though he hurt me greatly. I'm just sort of frozen in place not sure what to do.

    • I also don't want to be used & we've slept together a few times, I know that was foolish of me but I miss him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • what was the reason he broke up with you in the first place?
    You two were together for a very long time so its only natural he's having a hard time forgetting about it
    But kudos on making him work to get him to talk to you again you definitely did the right thing there.
    Now he should respect how hard it was to get you just back to talking to him that he won't want to do anything to mess that up again.
    which probably is why he's scared to get back together.
    He definitely still likes you and his heart pounding sounds like he was nervous as well.

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    • When he broke up with me he told me he had no time & wanted to be friends. Basically bullshit... Even though we didn't speak for almost a year I sorta feel like he's taking me for granted once again. I know were not together but I wouldn't want to jeopardize the relationship ever again if I was him. I will say he's busy with school full time but I don't really feel important.

    • he wanted to be single thats why he broke up with you because for some reason he couldnt balance both you and his busy work life. I think that if someone thought someone was important enough they would make the time for them.
      There's a saying if its important enough theyll find a way if not they will find an excuse.
      ITS SO TRUE !
      in that case he used the excuse of being too busy for your relationship by being still friends though that would have meant he could keep you on the back burner for when he feels like he has time for you again.
      advice... dont sleep with him again not unless he decides to be in the relationship again, dont let him take you for granted you deserve better !
      i think you should be somewhat distant with him and show him you have other options if he thinks he's going to lose you thats when he'll do something about it

    • That's exactly what I said " you make time for what's important no matter how busy you are." His response was "that's easier said than done." Pfft...
      Thank you. This is exactly how I feel & what I need to do.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I can only tell you how I would interpret that. Notice how you detailed that you initiated no conversations, that he had tried multiple times and angles to get back to you, came over to help you even when you didn't tell him yourself about the dog, etc. Notice it. Recognize the effort over an extended period of time. I would NEVER do this if I were not serious, and if I were not intent on trying my best to get you to recognize how I felt. This man sounds genuine, but I know I only have part of the story.

    That said, I suppose it really depends on what you broke up over, and whether or not it was rational for you to have felt so hurt that you would not let him back in the door. But most importantly, I think it's extremely important that you decide for yourself if you can forget and forgive. You would really have to commit, and try not to make this fella feel the burden of having broken up with you once before. I don't know who initiated nor for what reason, but I think generally speaking that there are times between lovers where space is needed to figure things out. It happened to two of my good friends 3 years ago, and they stayed in contact. They are now happily married and true partners in crime.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him you want to get back together. Just suck it up and say it! If he wants to he will be glad you told him (he's prolly wondering if YOU want to get back together) if he doesn't want to then you will know and can go back to getting over him.

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