Why do I keep reflecting on old relationships?

i have recently been looking back at relationships from 5+ years ago. I've learnt a lot from those experiences and its raised my standards for dating but why do i keep getting small thoughts about past relationships?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you regret some of the decisions you've made. When you have some unresolved issues, then it tends to surface/show up. Try talking to a counselor or a close trusted relative/friend about it. It would maybe help. You can't change the past though so just learn from them is all you can really do especially if the "problem" cannot be fixed/mended/changed.


    • its not that i particularly regret my decisions, but I tend to pick all the good parts of my relationships and attempt to come to a conclusion about what I want in terms of dating but can help but bring the bad memories with me too. I have had a lot of problems with being cheated on, lied to, and being led on in the past.

    • "I have had a lot of problems with being cheated on, lied to, and being led on in the past." You're not the only one sadly.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It could be a good thing. You're reflecting on what you liked and didn't like. Good and bad experiences and it can prepare you for what you do want in a relationship. going forward.

  • Because you're going through the "intimacy vs. isolation" stage of Erikson's psychosocial development theory, and this involves you trying to figure out whether you would prefer to be single or in a relationship.

    • what does this mean exactly? in terms on mental health? and how could i speed up the process; as I've been in this rut for a few months now

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    • might have to try the relationship thing! although I'm a bit wary of making mistakes and not knowing what I'm getting myself into

    • Making mistakes is how you learn. Don't be scared to try again.

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe you have some doors to close? I thought it was normal to reflect on the past in general? I do it everyday, doesn't always end well though.

    • i was thinking that it might be due to a lack of closure in a lot of my past relationships, makes a lot of sense. I've travelled to the other side of the world since so closure isn't really attainable at this point

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