This guy and I dated for a little while about a year ago. It wasn't anything long but we seemed to both really like each other. However, things with us ended badly over some miscommunication. Now a year later, he texts me asking how I have been and saying that he wants to catch up. I know if he was just looking for a hookup, why wouldn't he just find someone else. He is very attractive so it wouldn't be an issue for him. I thought he didn't ever want to talk to me again and just suddenly now he does. He said he just wants to catch up. Im really confused, because last time I fell for him fast. I want to be very cautious, but Its bringing up old feelings for him. Why would he contact me after a year of no contact?
Most Helpful Girl
I've read all the comments, and it seems to me, like you're catching feelings for this guy and hoping that what you want to happen is what's behind him contacting you. The bottom line is this:
He could be contacting you for any number of reasons, or even just because he scrolled past your number in his phone, and thought to himself: I wonder what she's up to, haven't talked to her a while. And that could literally be it. But you're trying to convince yourself that he "cares in some way" and that he has some feelings for you.
You could get hurt, if you open yourself up to this and you've got these expectations of him, and it might not be the case for him. If you weren't already talking like that, I'd say:
Yeah, sure! Go catch up and maybe you'll be great friends.
But because you're clearly wanting more, and even projecting your feelings onto him, before you even accept to "catching up"... I'm going to say:
No. Don't do it. If anything, be up front and let him know that you had really liked him before the misunderstanding, and could like him like that again. But if all he wants is to do, is to be friends...
You have to fill that part in. Answer honestly (to yourself):
Can you handle being his friend and nothing more? That includes hearing about other girls (without jealousy) and maybe even seeing them together. Can you be his friend without expectations for a relationship in the future?
If you can answer YES to both questions, then great. You can be friends without it hurting you. If not, do you really want to deal with that kind of heartache?1