He contacted me for the first time in a year!! Why?

This guy and I dated for a little while about a year ago. It wasn't anything long but we seemed to both really like each other. However, things with us ended badly over some miscommunication. Now a year later, he texts me asking how I have been and saying that he wants to catch up. I know if he was just looking for a hookup, why wouldn't he just find someone else. He is very attractive so it wouldn't be an issue for him. I thought he didn't ever want to talk to me again and just suddenly now he does. He said he just wants to catch up. Im really confused, because last time I fell for him fast. I want to be very cautious, but Its bringing up old feelings for him. Why would he contact me after a year of no contact?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Since his ill feelings likely subsided with the time apart, perhaps he simply wants to catch up to see if a reconciliation can come about.

    • Im just confused as to why now and what happened to cause him to want to catch up after so long. Is it possible he still has feelings for me in a way? I just think that if he didn't care all this time he wouldn't ever contact me again. Like there would be no need if you didn't are about the person or have some kind of motive.

    • Personally, I would not contact an ex unless I wanted to win her back. So, yes, I believe that he does care.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've read all the comments, and it seems to me, like you're catching feelings for this guy and hoping that what you want to happen is what's behind him contacting you. The bottom line is this:
    He could be contacting you for any number of reasons, or even just because he scrolled past your number in his phone, and thought to himself: I wonder what she's up to, haven't talked to her a while. And that could literally be it. But you're trying to convince yourself that he "cares in some way" and that he has some feelings for you.

    You could get hurt, if you open yourself up to this and you've got these expectations of him, and it might not be the case for him. If you weren't already talking like that, I'd say:
    Yeah, sure! Go catch up and maybe you'll be great friends.

    But because you're clearly wanting more, and even projecting your feelings onto him, before you even accept to "catching up"... I'm going to say:
    No. Don't do it. If anything, be up front and let him know that you had really liked him before the misunderstanding, and could like him like that again. But if all he wants is to do, is to be friends...

    You have to fill that part in. Answer honestly (to yourself):
    Can you handle being his friend and nothing more? That includes hearing about other girls (without jealousy) and maybe even seeing them together. Can you be his friend without expectations for a relationship in the future?
    If you can answer YES to both questions, then great. You can be friends without it hurting you. If not, do you really want to deal with that kind of heartache?

    • thanks for your response, I will definitley keep that in mind

    • I do wish you well. It's why I was completely honest with you. Good luck to you, in life and love.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He just got dumped?

    • but he can literally talk to any girl he wants. I dont know why he would chose me if he didn't have some feelings there?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think depending on how big the issue was that led to your separation, maybe he is last that and actually ready to pursue things with you again. Meet up with him and see what he has to say. If you feel like he's still holding on to the past problem then don't get involved again, it'll just hurt all over again if it doesn't work out. But you won't know his intentions unless you give him a chance to catch up with you.

    • i truly dont think there would be a reason for him to contact me if he didn't have some kind of feelings still there or cared in some way? Like if he didn't care, he would just continue no contact, it wouldn't even matter because it has been so long

  • guys are complicated sometime...
    you can't be cautious... as you still have feelings for him... and in case he message you again, chances are that you will go to see him..
    i really can't suggest you what to do... but one thing is for sure, that hard feelings have gone... so you have kind of clean slate to start with... unless you are re-bound..


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