Live-In Girlfriend broke up with me but hasn't offered to grab the rest of her stuff and took mine?

So my ex and I were living together for almost a year, we dated 14 months and I even got her to move from Iowa to Colorado with me after only dating less than a month. We were great for a while up until April when she left her Facebook up on my computer and I noticed a conversation she was having with a guy who added her. She basically told him that she was in a complicated relationship and gave him her number. I was very upset but realized that I wasn't acting the best towards her. I wasn't as affectionate, which is what she needed, but really that was part of her immaturity because I wasn't treating her that bad. We worked on the relationship but my anxiety kicked into high gear after that. I had it before when I got laid off from my job and was afraid that I wasn't gonna be able to support us for a while. We even got a dog and cat during the relationship. We moved into a new place towards the end of June but she only helped me move once. After a week of moving here she blew me off again and we had a talk about ending the relationship, which deep down I didn't want. We stuck together for a few more days and then she broke it off and moved her stuff out. Since then she has only moved little things out once a week, had to have me kick her off my insurance after multiple attempts of me asking her to change it, she said she didn't want to cause she had gotten in a car accident shortly after we broke up. I also asked her to forward her mail and she said she did but i still get all of it. She took some of my things "on accident" and won't offer to return them, she has asked to come by and grab the rest of her stuff but hasn't done so, and only brings that up inevery other conversation. She bought the cat and took him but brought him back since her roommate's cat was in heat. She has since never bothered to come and get him but yelled at me a few times about paying her for him after I said she should just keep him here, even though she fought me on that.
She has left the key as I asked but in the past few weeks she has not offered to give me my stuff back or to come and grab her stuff, nor ask about the dog and cat. These actions have got me thinking that she doesn't want to let me go.
She is 22 and I'm 28 and mind you I should just let her be 22 but what do you think I should do in this situation?


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she's trying to keep you as back up at this point. If you have her stuff, she has a reason to keep in touch. And when things don't work out for her, she'll try to come back. It's best to tell her that you're going to throw her stuff out if she doesn't come get them by a certain date. And tell her to bring your stuff back when she comes.

    • Or should i just let it go? Throw all of the stuff away and tell her i dont have it that way she knows she has nothing with me anymore

    • Plus the stuff she took isn't important

    • If it's better to just let it go, then you should. Also, she could have left her stuff behind to remind of her. So, if you decide to let it go then just throw her stuff away as soon as possible so you can move on.

What Guys Said 1

  • Dude, it's over, put her crap outside in a box if you don't want it or sell it on Ebay and make up the $$$ for the stuff she stole from you. Keep the dog and cat; it sounds like she can't handle the responsibility for them anyway. Kick her off your insurance and whatever else she's mooching from you and make a clean break.

    The only reason she's sticking around now is to see what she can leech off of you. If you make the mistake of assuming she still cares for you, she'll also mess up your future relationships by getting in the way and "trying to get back together" with you.

    She's young, clearly she needs to work on what she wants in a partner. You gave it a go, now go find someone who's going to respect you and not blow you off.

    TL;DR I wouldn't worry too much about her stuff. Just get her out of your life quick so you can move on to things that will *add* value to your life!


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