How long post-breakup should I try to reconnect with my ex? He is still bitter and angry, though he broke up with me?

Totally at a loss here. Ex is behaving in a very selfish manner and prioritizing his work and family above me to occupy himself. This really pisses me off! He broke up with me due to constant arguing and that was effecting his work life, etc. He blocked me on FB to anger me more an just left some other apps open for contact. Now, he just says to go with the flow of life and let's both focus on our careers. What a jackass: sorry to say.

He was meant to do a lot of things that were based on his career progression, which never happened. And, now he thinks it's okay to 'just be friends' for the time being. I think this is absolutely pathetic and extremely selfish. I am tired of people in general bailing on their responsibilities. He convinces himself that it's OKAY to now restrict contact to just weekends and 'live his life' of family and work. This is so aggravating after more than a year together.

I don't think I can take the minimal contact when we in touch at least 5 days a week before. He is just being a meanie and blames my bad attitude for the 'break up'.

Now, he's saying crap like 'when I'm not busy, I will contact you'. Again, this is very hurtful and plain fucked up.

I don't know if I can deal much longer and it's only been a month since the fallout. The only thing that's stopping me from cutting him OUT is our history and the bond between us.

Please don't say to 'move on' or 'let it go' as this person is very important to me. I just don't know how to reconnect when he's distracting himself with all this crap and being stubborn/angry towards me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i would stop doing the things that makes him mad just so he can unblock u from Facebook and communicate with you more i think he wasn't trying to break up with you what he wanted was to be able to focus on work and family have your support and come to you not being mad but supportive of him getting further in life u should see it as this him getting further in his career opens other opportunities for you both like living together seeing each other more and in person so both of you guys focusing on a career to having a life together doesn't sound bad at all but everyone goes threw this in a relationship so be understanding until you can get to a place to where you guys can both have it your way and are in a compromise position i think things would be better if you guys focus on your guys career and just move in with each other or get a apartment next to each other it will be better don't half nothing to argue about but bills in order to be in the place he wants and to have a life he needs to focus on his career u being supportive is really the best thing to do or allow him space to get his life together and focus on yours and then get back together but if you guys are together and he's busy then i wouldn't get upset cause u gotta see things in a different way he's with you no one else just busy if he doesn't have time for you then he sure isn't gonna have time to do anything bad with someone else

    • Thanks. I cannot be sure if he genuinely needs to be 'busy' or is doing this to move on and distract his mind. He did say so many lousy remarks at the 'break up'. Things like I have 'too high expectations', he is 'not what I really want', I should 'date other people'. He even put his single status on FB the month prior to the break up n then later blocked me, which was def to piss me off.

      I am not sure if he was testing my love for him or just being a jerk. Probably both. What do u think?

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    • Women do give too much of themselves and I'm learning that we need to behave more like them. U never know when a person can change or become bogged down. So, much better to invest in personal goals than 'finding a future husband'. Lol

      PS - Let me know if u ever need advice! I'll return the favor.

    • awweeee im so proud of you your the awesome one its been a pleasure giving advice to you if you need anything let me know i hope everything works out and im sure you will do a lot of good things for yourself and for your future relationship with him or i hope someone who makes you happy :) have a wonderful day !:) and also ive' experienced that before with guys lol never again yes us well all of us women half to be independent so we can provide for the life we want with or without a man ! have a great day !:)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Any energy you put towards this right now is a waste of your energy and you will just involve you in his 'Toxic negativity" Until a person who was in a relationship has no more anger no ore feeling's of revenge or feelings of being hurt then the that person is not done in the relationship regardless of who broke the relationship up.

    You will know when you are truly done in the relationship when you have no feelings period for the other person no feelings of love, hate, etc then you are truly done and at peace with the relationship.

    • This was very honest advice. :)

      He clearly blames me for the break up 100% and won't take responsibilty for any of his emotional abuse. I don't know why he has to be in such a state of denial rather than considering reconciliation. It actually seems that he is in far worse pain than me. Right?

      In this case, do I just keep my distance for awhile? Problem is I don't know for how long. Because even a month of no contact hasn't changed his attitude towards me. He won't admit his feelings for me either, yet got choked up when he spoke to me after the one month. I don't know where to go from here when he is still resistant, distant, amd stubborn.

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    • 17 years is quite long. How many years were u married?

      Well, I am struggling to give space and I don't think it is possible to go on more than another month. The hardest part being I would essentially lose my best friend, but I cannot ever just 'stay friends' for an indefinite amount of time either.

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