I Said Some Awful Things To My Boyfriend And He Seems Distant Now?

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We've had our ups and downs but lately we've been doing really bad. I complain that he never takes me out anymore and that he spends every single day hanging out with his friends. We tried talking things out the other day and we both promised to work on the relationship. Well the next day I went out with my girlfriends and got blacked out drunk. I ended up showing up to his house and starting a huge fight with him. I hardly remember the event, but he filled me in once we woke up in the morning. I said some horrible things to him and hurt him terribly. I apologized and he said he just needed some space. Then once I left his house he was acting like we were broken up. I ended up meeting up with him later that night to talk things out and he kept saying "I don't see a point to us being together anymore" and stuff like that. I finally convinced him to give us two more weeks and if we aren't happy by the end of two weeks we should just call it quits. I know alcohol played a huge role in my crazy moment and I know what I said drunk was pinted up sober thoughts, my question is, will this workout or not? He's been really vague all day today, hardly texting me, giving me the cold shoulder. I need to know if there's any point to try anymore or if I've damaged the relationship too much. And if there is a point, how should I act? Should I try to win him over with kindness or give him space? I really love the guy, although we have been having problems he was trying to work on them for me. I don't want to lose him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • My fiancee can get like this when she misunderstands me. It takes a lot of patience to put up with misunderstandings and being misunderstood, and I don't blame him for not having the patience required.

    Step one, I'd say, is that you never drink again. You apparently get UGLY when you drink. Whatever you do when drunk, you're still responsible for. Doesn't matter what happens. You knew what was possible, and accepted the risk. You can't be trusted when you're drunk, and you like to drink. You tried to make things work, then you got drunk and said some bullshit. Does he drink as much as you do?

    As for you two staying together, that is hard to say. If the two of you do break up, don't drown yourself in booze. It already made things worse once, and you can't be trusted when drunk.

    I can't really speak much on the relation portion of things, because I don't know much about him. I know that he likes to hang out with his friends. How often? And how does that compare to how often you hang out with your friends? You two should be like each other's best friend.

    • I've had a really destructive relationship with alcohol since I was really young. So you're right, I'm going sober because I can't control my actions when I'm drunk. He hardly drinks at all, just a couple of beers every once in awhile. He's really into cars so that's why he's always with his friends because they are working on their cars but it becomes this thing where he's not taking me out anymore because he spends all his time, money and effort on his friends/cars. I mean he invites me to hangout with his friends and him but it gets old watching sweaty dudes talk about cars all night while I just sit there. A lot of my friends are huge drinkers/partyiers so I'm trying to space myself from them because they are literally always high or drunk. he says he wants to work on things but needs space. I don't know how much space I need to give him and for how long, it's killing me!

  • Well let me ask you if he got slopping drunk, and slept with a couple sluts how would you feel? you may think this is trust, but people say when you drunk you are the most honest, so this being said if you boyfriend believes to be true You might actually feel the way you said you felt about those things. You've got a lot of work to do if you want to make it work, but Im gonna tell you its probably not going to work out. You have to do something pretty big in his mind to make this all better whatever that big thing is I don't know but you may know it in your mind. Maybe even ask him what he wants in the end if he still wants it to work out or if he in fact has given up on. These types of things happen in relationship and the willingness to work through it shows you how strong your relationship is and his love for you is. So if he's not willing to work through it I can't see he loved you the same that you loved him

    • Thankyou for your opinion. It's really appreciated. We've talked recently and I addressed the issue of him being short with me and he said he just wants his space and wants to take a step back. Which I understand. I know it's gonna take time for healing.

    • also making sure nothing like this ever happens again is a good way to make sure this doesn't happen again

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