I was in an abusive relationship?

Hello everyone, I'm struggling to move on after an abusive relationship. Me & my ex bf were together almost 4 years and things were great until the last year. He began to act impatient with me, rude to me, and would verbally abuse me (i didn't realize it at the time). He ended the relationship 8 months ago when I approached him about cheating on me. During the argument I started crying and he was telling me how much he hated me & didn't give a fuck about me. Then he pushed me to the floor.

Looking back, I didn't realize it but he had been verbally/emotionally abusing me since last year and finally escalated to physical. I'm ok now but sometimes my mind falls on it & its like I hear him saying those awful things he used to say to me. How did I not recognize it? That's what I struggle with the most, as well as, reminding myself that the things he said to me aren't true. For example "you're a weak ass person", "all you do is stress me out", "you have a nasty attitude and are a horrible person".,..

He contacted me a month ago but I refused to speak with him. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to say. Sorry that this is so long but I'm hurting still and I don't understand why. Thanks for reading.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry to hear that. I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 7 years and I finally left my ex last year and myself and my daughters went into a womens refuge. For about 5 years he was emotionally, financially, sexually and physically abusive but I stayed with him for all that time thinking I loved him and he would change. They never do. It wasn't until he threatened to cut my throat in front of our daughter that I decided enough was enough but believe me it wasn't easy. I would say I was hurting for a good 7/8 months and still sometimes am angry but because of my daughter. It won't go away but believe me eventually you will get past that stage and find someone worthy of having you. As hard as it is dont go back it will only get worse.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • time is going to be the greatest healer. also just remembering that the things he said were untrue and said by a person with a sickness (being an abuser is a sickness). you may consider going to counseling just to learn how to move past the matter. they will help you gain perspective and see things in the correct light

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  • You know the format of this site presupposes you're going to ask a question, right?

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  • I would suggest a restraining order if he continues to try to get back in your life. As you have experienced domestic abuse escalates.

    Get closure. This isn't your fault. Move on. Get counseling. Stand up for yourself. Refuse to be a victim to this pathetic excuse for man trying to prop up his own damaged ego. I've counseled many through this. The guilt is overwhelming. And moving forward into healthy relationships is extremely harped. Get out now. Pursue counseling if possible.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You are doing it right. He was abusive, and not a good element in your relationship. You are much better off without him.

    It's understandable that you are still hurting, because you've been together for a long time. But please work on your personal growth: study, work out, eat healthy, develop your hobby, etc. Gradually you'll forget about him, and get out of the shadow of this relationship.

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  • I was in an abusive for over 5 years and I am finally free. You can't allow that to happen to you its not worth it. I was physically abused and mentally I was lied to and cheated on. The physical abuse heals but the mental abuse stays there. You can't allow anyone to disrupt your self love. I have come a long way in a short time we just broke up because I just couldn't take being accused of cheating and being abused anymore and I said no more I am to good for this. I am free I can actually go to the store without being accused of going to cheat. Its a better life a better way. You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different.

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  • he's just an ahole, you should not wonder about it. lots of people are really prone to being abused or tricked, its nothing to do with you.
    you wasted enough time on that selfish person..

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