What should I do (and avoid to do) to make a girl choose me instead of her nowadays boyfriend?

So I know a girl since some months, I have her among my contacts, and I really want her. Unfortunately, after almost 1 week texting between us, she revealed she has a boyfriend. I'm sure she had a initial interest on me since the day we first met. So what should I do to make she forget her boyfriend who is overseas for me? What moves should I do to make her my girlfriend? I have few time until they get together again, so now is the time!!

PS: Don't tell me this wrong bla bla because this is not since she is not married; besides that we don't know what type of guy is her boyfriend while I'm the guy who can make her happy and will stay with her until death (if I realize she is the girl to marry after some time dating).

Updates:
How could I start a message with her again? It's been almost a week I didn't have texted her. How could i propose to meet with her? I just need a way to meet her then she will be a lot into me again as she was at the first day
One important thing. I could have asked the same question with a fake background, in a way people would easily accept to help me. I opted for being sincere though, expecting smart people would realize it and help me anyway. Maybe I should have lied..
So well I'm not sure whether my target will become interested in me if she knows that I just met a "new random girl" and maybe I can start a relationship with her ("not real dating as I supposed to do"). Should i tell her about it or not?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • How about you move on and find a girl who's not taken. You can't "make" her choose you over her current boyfriend.
    Besides, jumping from one relationship to another without taking a breather and being single for a while is just not healthy. I don't understand why people think that it's something you can/should do? You're basically taking all the old baggage from the previous relationship DIRECTLY into the new one, without sorting anything out. That just won't work out.

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    • That's why i don't want a "serial monogamy". But if I stay in the same "status quo" I am now, I cannot disrupt her relationship status and make her break off with her boyfriend.

      About other single girls, all of them I know none of them I desire as my wife. If i knew more girls, it would increase the chance to find a single wifey-material girl, but that's not my case; I don't know so many girls and my life does not allow it too

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    • Cool. All I'm saying that it's not worth the wait. God knows for how long you'd have to wait, and God knows if she'd even WANT to be with you when/if she breaks up with her current boyfriend. You're better off finding someone else.

    • I would never know someday I would be lectured with a fine speech which uses the concept of the Divine Providence together with human sexual life by a girl like you. I think you are right, I will search for other girls but i don't want to discard her as an option yet.

Most Helpful Guy

  • For one, you should never convince or persuade someone to choose to be with you. The fact that you are asking suggests that there is lack of confidence in your ability and appeal to naturally influence her to be with you. It also suggests that you are aware of the lack of interest she has in you.

    For two, being that she has someone, I therefor ask, why would consider investing in a woman who may have feelings for another guy, especially a woman who has basically turned you down, correct me if I'm wrong?

    To answer your question; just ask her out to lunch, or whatever? If she is interested in you, in what you have to offer, it's all that will be need to get her to come out.

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    • " The fact that you are asking suggests that there is lack of confidence in your ability and appeal to naturally influence her to be with you. It also suggests that you are aware of the lack of interest she has in you. " Very bull's eye.

      "why would consider investing in a woman who may have feelings for another guy, especially a woman who has basically turned you down, correct me if I'm wrong?"
      Because she is the only one wifey material I have in sight at this moment, better than that, since the beginning of this year! She have not given me any signs that reveal a quality or trait to make her not-wife material. I need to know her better to realize if she is really that worth I'm imagining or just one more illusion, that's why I want to date her so I can know who she really is.
      About your question, yes somehow she turned me down, but she remained to be in touch with me, she have not ignored any of my messages since the time she unblocked me, ...

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    • And if you do not date other women, she may see you as clingy and desperate. That's not what you want, correct?

      Remember what I said, you should not have to convince or persuade her. So, my advice is to play it cool. Be patient. Be confident. Don't overdo it by trying to prove to her that you are better than her boyfriend. In fact, don't bring him up. Allow your character and personality to win her over and their will be no need for theatrics.

    • Unfortunately, you are right. It seems doing "serial monogamy" for a while will be inevitable, even though I don't like the idea of starting a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I think that if start a relationship with no purpose of marriage, well i can end up doing "wrong things" with the girl.

      But as you have said, I just need to allow my personality and character to win her over. For that, texting is not of a good use, but a face-to-face meeting anywhere is better. I will be patient and wait for a chance to meet her and not waste when it happens. Until there I should keep cool and have fun with any other girl I get... Oh I really didn't want to do that stuff, using another girl to prove to her I'm not clingy and not a loser, but it seems there's no other way...

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What Girls Said 2

  • If she's with that guy, it's because she loves him and wants to be with him. You may lie to yourself and say her relationship is horrible but you can't say that for sure; you're not in their relationship. Clearly the relationship is fine for her so why do you think she'll drop it all and start over with another guy who evidently doesn't have much respect for women anyways? Girls don't think like that if they're loyal. Maybe her boyfriend isn't a sexist asshole?

    "I'm the guy who can make her happy and will stay with her until death" - you think you're the only guy to provide that. Like you said, you don't know her boyfriend but he most likely is making her happy (that's why she's staying with him) and wants to be with her forever.

    Anyone with a functioning brain knows how to start a message and say "want to hang out?". Honestly, it isn't that hard. You ask for what you want and you either get it or you don't.

    "I have her among my contacts, and I really want her" - you act like you're picking her out of a pic n mix. If you've got so many "contacts" to choose from, go the single ones. This is a case of going for someone you can't have. She's not a possession that can be passed around when a guy pleases.

    If she did leave her boyfriend for you, who's to say she won't get coerced out of a relationship with you by some other guy? Think about it, seriously. Go for single girls, it's a lot easier and more respectful, you look less of a dick too.

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    • Okay i think we have some misunderstandings there are lot of things to say but briefly:

      -"Clearly the relationship is fine for her so why do you think she'll drop it all and start over with another guy who evidently doesn't have much respect for women anyways?" That's the question, there are people in comfort zone, and people who dares to achieve greater things. I hope she is the last one type of person, because if she chooses me she will meet a new life, a new world, a new freedom, a new eternal Love... She will meet the unlimited and fantastic God that for sure her boyfriend cannot show her because he is not a believer (not certain of it, but 99% of chance he is not a believer). So I need to prove her to abandon her small boat where she is a for a real boat where she can sail with me in this earthly life for further places never reached before ;) I need to show her what she is losing for! She is losing for a great chance in her life that maybe she can never get before!

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    • She belongs to her boyfriend and he belongs to her. They're in a committed relationship.

    • Yet she is free and I will win over her, if she is not married than it's not adultery, it doesn't matter whether you think it's jerk or not, that's fair and square.

  • I like this guy who has a girlfriend. He and I were talking more and more. (Long story but I'll have to tell u some other time cause im in class.) but yea, I asked my friends the same thing. They all told me what these people are telling you. So I'm clueless and he's drifting away more and more because I don't kno what to do or say =\

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    • Well I think we could help each other? Do you plan to marry him or something?

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    • Okay well Good Luck

    • I know that's the hard way, but in the end I will get my reward, then i will see all my effort was worth after a happy marriage!

What Guys Said 4

  • "I'm sure she had a initial interest on me since the day we first met" No, you don't KNOW that. You think she had feelings because you're obsessed with her. Maybe she doesn't.

    You need to give it up. It's not a question of if she has a boyfriend or not. Just on your post here, you're coming across as VERY creepy. If you've come across anything like that to her, you've sent off red flags and she's going to avoid you.

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    • The fact is that she was not avoiding me on the beginning, since the first day we meet. She even tried to reply my message as soon as possible, and even said "sorry for being late I was..." even if her message was only 1 hour later from my last message.

      By the way, I'm not the guy who gives up easily, maybe not everytime I get what I want, but I always give my best shot! And your advice for sure is not the best shot. So please don't bother me

    • Well good luck with that restraining order!

    • I think this website was supposed to ask about things concerning relationships, isn't it? There are thousands of questions asking how to get certain boy/girl so why could i not do the same? Just because the context is unusual, fair and moral yet?

  • You can't make her forget her boyfriend, that sounds selfish and needy.
    If I were you, I would let her decide when she has settled up her bf thing, then only come to me.
    Of course I'm not telling you it's wrong. You can't force someone into you to 100% meet your expectation. If she TRULY interested at you, she would dump her boyfriend, you need not force it but just let it flow naturally.

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    • I imagine some reasons why she have not dumped him yet. One of them is that i had only one chance of meeting her personally (the first time we met) and she was a lot into me that it has never passed through my head she had a boyfriend. She was too much solicitude and open to me to stay with her as much time as possible, but that time I could not come to her to all other places after lunching together because I had another appointment.

      In the end of the day, you too are like the guy below asking me to "just let it go". That's not the way you win in life, my friend. Nothing astounding will naturally comes to you (unless you are very lucky), you need to fight for what you really want, that's the way to achieve self-realizing! So please, don't tell me to not influence her decision, I have skills to influence people by oratory, but unfortunately with girls it does not work very well because they are not as reasonable as men.

    • "unfortunately with girls it does not work very well because they are not as reasonable as men. " Maybe because you come across as an asshole. Obviously you know it all, so why are you asking us? You don't want to hear anything we have to say, so why bother? Have fun!

    • That's why I need an advice or some hints about how to create chances to meet her again using proper messages, for example. And then what I should do when I meet her next time and so on... By the way, I told the truth, whether you like or not, according to my experience i can't understand girl's mind logic.

  • You Fail To Realize If You Do Talk This Girl Out Of Her Relationship There Is Nothing That Will Stop Her From Doing It To You (Regardless If You See Her Every Day, Week, However Much You See Her.) If She Leaves Him For You That Just Shows She Is The Type Of Girl That Will doesn't Stay In A Relationship When Times Get Tough & Believe Me Times Will Get Tough. If Your Able To Talk Her Out This Relationship Then Another Guy Can Easily Talk Her Out Your Arms Too. It's Not Worth It, It Will Be Difficult To Trust Her...

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    • I completely agree with you buddy. I was thinking the same after she revealed to me about her boyfriend. However look to the comments I said to "hannah":

      About her loyalty, she have already proven to me she is loyal to her boyfriend. She have cut off all communications with me for lots of days, but with my persistence and willpower I managed to make her to unblock me again

    • So what do you think of her? I guess she has just obeyed her boyfriend's command to cut off all communication with me but somehow she got moved and touched by my efforts that she ended up unblocking me and even asking for excuses for what she have done. Now unfortunately, she seems much more distant in her messages and not so warm as that time.

  • Move on. There are better women in the world then just THAT one

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    • I know there are, but my life is limited to the place where i live and I attend

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    • I know it by i don't want to do any vow of chastity. The wrong girl will bring more problems, but the right girl will alleviate them!

    • She isn't the right girl. Don't force love, it comes naturally.

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