Break up even though I didn't really want to?

Basically, has anyone experienced this? I am trying to have as little contact with him as possible and some things are necessary to rekindle any hope left. He is an alcoholic and uses cocaine. He has slowed down with the usage of coke, but the alcohol is necessary now in order for him to function. I told him I have to distance myself until his bags are packed and he's ready to go to rehab. Too many times I hear him say," I know I need help" and "I'm ready, just not yet".. or "next week"..." I've got things I have to do first." Ugh. I didn't want to break up with him cause he is a stellar being with so much talent and potential, a huge heart and many other awesome qualities. But I knew I was enabling him by accepting his mood swings, off the wall behavior, ok for him to do stuff but not me... so I had to distance myself. Does anyone have any insight on what steps I should take next, because I don't want a day to go by without having him know I still do love him.. for none of us know when our last day will be.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your intentions are good but you need to just cut all ties with him and move on. You can't let him drag you down. You can still love him, and always be ready for him when HE decides he's had enough.

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    • I did let him know my love will never die, but until I see greater action for change, I must stay away. thank you.

    • You handled it perfectly then. Sadly, sometimes even the right way isn't easy.

    • Ok. good. I figured there's nothing else I could do. It definitely isn't easy. but he is dragging me down, and I myself and trying to climb a mountain to greater things.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You would have to help him rehab himself.

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    • I told him, I will help him to rehab. When his bags are packed, I'll be there for him. that is all.

    • he has to do his bit too.

    • agreed. Thanks so much! :)

What Girls Said 1

  • baby, you did so right. Having you around was a excuse to not look for help "she's with, so i'm not that bad". Stay away, you are tottaly right!!

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    • thank you. you are so right too. I feel I needed this reassurance that I am doing all I can to protect myself and my heart.

    • Your support is a way of enabling him to carry on. Until he hits rock bottom he is not going to have the will to do anything for himself. So he will just continue to slowly destroy himself and all those around him. Let him try on his own.

    • Agreed! and thank for your input! I am currently repulsed by a lot of his past actions and it's funny how in just two days, my feelings went from compassion to him, to walking away and having compassion for myself. This is all him. Thank you!!!

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