Is this idea a good one or am I going to make it worse on me?

My ex bf broke up with me about 3mths ago and seems to show me he still has feelings for me but also has his distance. He told me he wants us to be friends but he also has kissed me once a week and has gotten jealous when i talk to guys. He is single right now. I dnt want to completely ignore him but I feel like he hasn't really missed me like he should. I feel the more time apart the gamble I have of either loosing him or gaining him. I'm scared of the outcome I dnt want it to backfire on me and he say she doesn't even want to be my friend. I don't know what to do please help.

Updates:
I've told him we should try to work things out but he says we are too diffrent and yet seems to show some type of feelings for me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not a believer of keeping ex's in your life at all! I think they should be 100% cut out of your life and cease all contact with. Being friends with an ex is just going to cause all the problems and more you talking about. Keeping an ex in your life cannot be done cleanly. As long as you keep an ex in your life you will never be able to sever that tie with them and move on. They will always be a distraction and come in between you and any one you are dating. I have enough friends. I don't need to keep in contact with an ex. They have nothing to contribute or add to my life. All they are going to do is prevent me from fully moving on and finding another relationship.

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    • And that's true if I didn't want anything to do with him but the truth is I'm the one that still wants us to be together and he doesn't right now that's why I'm trying to figure out if u act like I'm not interested maybe I will shake him out of his comfort zone at the same time this distance might make him say she wants to be distant than that's what ill give her

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    • Part 2.. ended up txting me in the early hrs in the morning how she was being mean to him I comforted him through txt.. but like I said I've asked him to work things out and he tells me "I'm sorry I cnt say I feel the same right now" I don't know if he means he doesn't feel we shld get together but not necessarily doesn't mean he doesn't want us to maybe just not now. I don't know I'm confused and hurt but understood the hurt he feels if that's what he thinks is true.. but everything is an assumption

    • Yep, I could feel he was feeling inferior to you. He probably never felt good enough, and that was just a hurtle he has to over come in his own mind. This is a bigger problem because his friends are also against you and are brainwashing your ex into not wanting to be with you. Either you get in better with the friends, or try somehow to remove him somewhat from their influence. This is going to be a long and slow process. It won't be fixed over night. He needs to see what a great person you are and how great it is to be with you all over again, from scratch. I think you should start out very slow, just invite him to spend time with you just in easy low stress and casual ways. Rebuild the connection. Deep in his heart he knows he made a mistake. Nobody wants to admit they made a mistake, especially when they already feel inferior and also possibly intimated by that person. Hopefully you can spend more and more time together and hopefully something will re-kindle that flame!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just because two people Break Up doesn't mean that can't Make Up, and that it totally means: Goodbye forever, my love. And with an EX, X Marks their Spot in your soft 'Spot' of your heart, and with this, is always a Motive for Why they either want to stay friends with or without benefits, be civil to start, just keeping you in the background, looking and lurking at everything you say And------Gotten jealous when I talk to guys.
    In your case, he is back in your life, and with the 'Missing and the kissing' comes, his Honest John answers that he wants to be buds, nothing more, nothing less. Bottom line here. He won't make any promises, he won't bend an ear to Hear what you're saying, because he doesn't want any Commitments right now, just 'Pen pals' like And most likely--------Friends with benefits Only.
    He is, however, giving you his old excuses of Why he 'Won't try to work things out.' He wants you to buy this song and dance until you're blue in the face, because even though he Does Still want you around, wants to 'Be friends,' he just doesn't want to be hooked at the hip. He gets a bit of Cold duck feet when he feels scared or cornered into thinking there Might be more, and this is his reason behind the season...
    Let things flow for now. Go slow with this. Take each day at a time without pressures. And with his weekly peck on the cheek, which shouldn't even be a dealbreaker here, doesn't mean you have to dance to his tune of Any 'Once a week' Tongue and cheek Anything, if you get my drift...
    Start off as friends. I have always believed that the best relationships, even when once a pair, are the best if nursed and nurtured, and if it is meant for old Mother Nature to sow more seeds you wish to Reap Back into Romance, then the planting of her plan will be done.
    Life is a 'Gamble,' no matter how you slice the cake, roll the dice. And it's your choice, your call to either Continue to 'Ignore him' or Try a trick With-------Friendship.
    Good luck. xx

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