My relationship is making me unhappy but I love her too much to just go.

My girlfriend and I just began college together. This wasn't really planned so much as we both really liked this college. We have been together for 2 and a half years and are living right down the hall from one another in the dorm. This situation scared me as soon as I moved in and now its worse. As our relationship has gone farther and father I have began to realize that she is overly dependent and needy of me and it is becoming too much for me. Especially with the trials of adjusting to college life and leaving my home which I loved so much I have been very unhappy. She is still needy over me and I find myself manipulated by her words because its always seemed to me that she sends a great deal of signals in her words that I have to try hard to catch. Im just not happy being with her despite how much I like being with her. She is very clingy and my only alone time is when she decides to go be with her friends. Not to mention we have extremely frustrating and long fights. She won't let me be when things go bad, which is exactly what I need and i have told her this. We are trying to take time apart while we each see counseling to understand ourselves and our relationship. She keeps trying to hang out with me right now and it is tough to resist because I can see the pain in her when I say no, I am very caring to her too as she had a bad home life in high school. My conflicting ideas if what I think I need and what she seems to want are killing me and my actions represent this as I will be around her but then be totally distant as well. Additionally ( I don't if this is on purpose or not) she says how she's constantly been sick to her stomach because of ahas going on between us and how she's been skipping classes/can't do her hwk. I feel overwhelmingly guilty but feel like I'm in a position where I could never fully commit to a relationship with her again. She's just not right for me.


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What Girls Said 1

  • There are things you guys can do.
    You say you're taking a break... does that mean a break from the relationship and each other altogether, or what?

    You're both going to counselors, that's GREAT. Keep going, it's bound to help you with adjusting to college and missing home. It definitely can't hurt.

    As for her... you either need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what you want, or you need to end the relationship once and for all.
    If you feel you guys can compromise and find a happy medium, find a way to make the relationship something that makes you BOTH happy and not WANTING it, instead of NEEDING it, then by all means, try.
    Honestly though, it sounds like you're ready to be out of it completely.
    That's something you'll need to decide for yourself.
    Either take steps and be honest with each other about trying to make it work, or end the relationship and see how things are then.

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What Guys Said 1

  • " She's just not right for me. "

    That sums it up right there. Breaking up is hard, but it's for the greater in good for you BOTH in this case. You just wrote an entire paragraph on WHY you aren't happy. Sounds like your answer is pretty clear.

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