Is there anyway to *completely* forget about someone entirely, after you've moved on?

Don't know if "Break up" is the place. I've never had a girlfriend (least this last girl) but anyway...

I'm not talking about just pushing them to the back of your mind. I mean, completely forgetting. Almost forgetting they exist.

Basically, I fell head over heels for a good friend last year. Long story short, it was unrequited, she led me on, broke my heart three times, even after she told me she wanted to be with me (There's a lot more detail, but I'm trying to shorten as much as possible)

Anyway, that was last year. After I ended our friendship in March '14, I haven't seen her since. Never saw her again. From then to now, I met this absolutely amazing girl. She is so wonderful. I prefer her over my old friend easily, and we plan on dating. This new girl is amazing in her own unique way and is so much better than my friend. My friend (hesitate to call her that now) was selfish and fucked with my head (kind of unknowingly. I'll go into more detail if requested).

But that being said, despite how much I really truly care for this new girl, I still do think of my old friend. She's not technically an ex because we didn't date (we went on one, that doesn't equal "dating") but I was in love with her. For instance, I went to see her in a play by myself where she had one line last year. I saw that they are making a film based on the play. It really bothered seeing that and my friend asked me to go with him to see it. I politely denied, but I couldn't go see that. Hearing all the songs from the play and envisioning her again still stings.

What I'm getting at is that, despite how much I truly like this new girl, there are still some triggers that bother me relating to my ex-friend. Is there anyway to completely forget her? I'm confident in saying I'm moved on from her, but I want to forget her completely. It seems like just nostalgia, but I still want to forget. Is this type of thing normal for a real breakup between actual girl/boyfriends?
Updates:
I mean, I don't want think about her anymore. I'm not *dwelling* on her, but it's like I watch a TV show we both liked and I can't help but be reminded of her. Or the play example. Nothing dwelling, but it's there in the way back of my mind

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the same boat as you. I dated this guy for only seven weeks but two years later, he creeps into my mind. I'd nver go back to him either since he was a dhouchebag and never treated me right. Maybe it's because I'm single and I want a relationship and the only one I have in the past is the one with that loser. I think I need a new boyfriend but I like being sing;e. Dont need to answer to no one

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    • Exactly. Except I'm starting something with this new girl who is just amazing in every way. Yet for some reason, I still get bothered of triggers that remind me of my old, selfish, ex friend, who hurt me so much. Don't get it...

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    • I think so too. Thanks :)

    • Aaaahhh no way, thank you :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah man, totally. The way it worked for me is, you realise how much of a dick that person actually was to you and you consciously decide not to waste anymore energy on thoughts of her. Focus on other shit, as soon as you start to think about them. Eventually you don't think about them at all, I promise!

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  • Yes... its possible... why are you thinking of someone who is not bothered about you... think of all their negative points you will soon forget about her... I'm doing the same... my ex was a douchebag... I'm getting over him daily... one day I won't even remember his fugly face and stupid name... ;)

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What Guys Said 5

  • Any older person will tell you - time is the answer. I felt like you - more than a few times, until I realized that things that do not last are not worth hurting over. After many heartbreaks, I got to a point where if a girl said "I need space" I gave it to her, and walked away. At that point I was free to find my soul mate, which I did, eventually.

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    • I figured. I just didn't know if I was doing something wrong, or this was indeed normal for a real breakup. I assumed but wasn't sure. I agree, I shouldn't be wasting my time giving her one more thought. I know that's easier said than done, but I've come this far from her. I'm going to keep going. This new girl is worth it, and so am I (sounds a bit conceited. Sorry). But hopefully that made sense. Glad things worked out for you too. Hope they do for me.

  • You just have to focus on your new relationship more, there's no way short of causing brain damage to forget her right away

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    • Yeah, I figured. But It's not "right away". I met my friend in June 2013 (well... remet. She was an old childhood classmate) and stopped contact in March 2014. It's been 7 entire months and she's still not completely gone out of my head. As I said, with the play / movie example.

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    • Well damn, that sucks. Was hoping I could basically completely forget about her. It'd be nice to watch one of my favorite tv shows without thinking of her. But I guess it'll just never go away. Kind of sucks, but I guess that's normal for actual relationships that end?

    • Yeah Im sorry bro, I know exactly how you feel

  • Ya. It's easy if they're not a crazy fucking stalker who keeps reminding you. It doesn't take long.

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    • It's easy/doesn't take long? I beg to differ

    • Very easy. Only stalkers keep you from forgetting them. Because they're assholes.

    • Well, I've had no contact with this girl in 7 months, and I still clearly remember her. I see your point, but it's not necessarily true (although stalkers be crazy, I get that).

  • There is no such a thing as memory erasing unfortunately...

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  • If it's easy to forget then everyone who is sensible will go on their life even after one day of the breakup, yes we move on but the words and acts every goddamn memory sticks with us good or bad until we die what's worse is that u feel the same exact feeling again of a situation that happened years and years before
    let me break it down to u it all occurs in the unconscious mind in the form of a program which can't leave u because it's associated with feelings and that's what should be updated in human being body in able to live a happy life yet some yoga professional teachers can reach somehow to the point where u felt such a feeling and take it off.. But I never met one with that skill

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