Help my bf dumped me for self harming?

Me and my boyfriend are 13 /14 and we were cuddling a few days ago and he found some ok a lot of self harm scars and cuts and he cried an ran but the next day he acted like I didn't mean anything to him and he dumped me and he's being really cold I don't know what to do how do. I get him back and how do I explain it to him ugggg any opinions help thank you

Updates:
My bff recently just sent me a picture of him making out with some super hot girl they didn't even notice she took the picture omg what do I do... this sucks...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There might be a bit more information to it than that. What exactly would you explain to him about your cuts and scars? Are they recent? And why would you do these things to yourself? He may not want a type of person that self harms in his life. Be honest and speak about how you truly feel.

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    • The thing is is he used to do it to

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What Guys Said 9

  • Do you still self harm? IF so, get that fixed before you worry about a boyfriend.

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  • for one, you should stop self harming. if this is a problem for you, get professional help. self harm is seen as indicator for psychological problems by most guys. some guys might naturally not want to deal with this kind of problems. you should forget this guy, since he is clearly not the right one for you. if he ditches you for this, he was clearly not interested enough.

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  • Well, you need to get help for self harming and if you love him than stop
    if not than your going to continue the same path of self harming

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  • As yad... said, you need to see a professional about the self harm, you ex bf is not important at this point.

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    • He is to me

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    • They said there was nothing else they could do to help me cause it wasn't working

    • That would never happen in my country, find another psychiatrist because they were dead wrong.

  • sounds a scummy thing to do... but then he's only 13, i doubt he can handle that.. not many that age can... not to justify his actions, but you cannot expect adult behaviour from a kid...

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  • stop self harming in future. it doesn't only hurt you if you keep doing that in a relationship

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  • You are ex's, leave it alone

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  • It isn't because he doesn't care that he broke up with you. It is too painful for him to watch someone he cares about hurt themselves. Self harming is an issue that you need to learn to over come. That is more important than trying to find a boyfriend. It is unreasonable to expect a guy to be okay with you hurting yourself.

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    • It's sorta reasonable if he used to to

    • If he use to do it, then he really would have a hard time with it. That would be like a recovering alcoholic, trying to date an alcoholic.

    • Yea I guess...

What Girls Said 4

  • Self-respect is huge in terms of attracting the opposite sex. ... and cutting is a very clear indicator of someone not liking themselves. It probably implied that you had a ton of baggage or were a project. Most people don't like to deal with that. It's hard to have a healthy relationship if both people aren't healthy--it ends up being a lot of work... and most relationships need a fair bit of effort as it is.

    If you cared about him, you should have told him up front instead of letting him discover the marks on his own. But since he did, he probably imagined all kinds of horrible things, when the truth, if you told him, would've been a whole lot easier to accept. I doubt he'd even listen to you now--since he so quickly pursued a rebound.

    The way I figure it, if you couldn't have told him in the beginning, he probably wasn't worth it.
    I would just accept this break-up as a life lesson and move on.

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  • Hey sweetie, I'm not trying to be rude or mean, but if he broke up with you because of that he obviously doesn't care. If he is your boyfriend he is supposed to be there for you no matter what. I had a friend who went through the same issue. You are still young. Harming yourself isn't going to make anything better baby girl. I told my friend she should try doing something like art, or excersizing instead of self harming. Do something you like. Pick a hobby. But don't worry. If he truly loves you he will come back. Try to explain the issues your going through. I hope this helped.

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  • Maybe he doesn't have time for people who do that kind of stuff. I've had friends who do it and it's one of the few times I've actually shouted in anger at them (more than one). It makes me so angry that someone I love can be so stupid.

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  • Maybe he lost someone that way or it brings up really bad memories... ask him

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