Why did he leave me after abortion? I feel lost with out him and the girls. Confused on why he feels This Break up is best. How to fix this?

We had the perfect relationship at least in my mind. Is more than I ever imagined I could love. He had two children from a previous marriage that I stepped in and took care of for three years. He is a doctor ( internal medicine) . I have a condition that was believed to be almost impossible for pregnancy. Also it was believed that if I became pregnant there would be severe consequences. I became pregnant and it was a shock for both. It never really set in for me since I believed it was not possible but for him his first thought was to get rid of it. I immediately declined and said no because I'm against abortion. He then proceeded to remind me of all of the risks involved with the pregnancy. I stayed at my parents for a week and he continuously convinced me that it was the best option. I finally gave in and went ahead and had the abortion. He promised me that we would go through this together because we both were unsure how I would react. The abortion itself was horrible for me emotionally but the next day it was almost like nothing happened. A few months later I became irritable and emotional more than normal. We began to argue and I felt alienated by him and the girls. I moved out because I felt it was the best option at the time that we needed space. We continued to talk for a year and a half but during that year I became increasingly emotional and aggressive. I separated myself from the girls because I didn't want them to see me going through my emotional battle in the process of reconnecting with my boyfriend. We had spoke about reintroducing the girls back into my life and our life once things settled or at least somewhat normal. This was to reduce any harm on the girls emotionally. Just when I began to feel normal again he decided to leave me and said that he was neglecting his girls. I found out later that his ex-wife had been talking to the girls and the girls came to the conclusion their father didn't care for them anymore because they were not included

Updates:
I was diagnosed with PTSD due to the Trumatic experience. I now have to learn how to deal with this alone
I forgot to mention that I lost my job as well shortly after so that's added to my stress. I'm just confused and why after so long being together and being so close how things switched so fast. Thank you

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm so sorry!! Things have kind of blown up for you, to put it mildly. I feel like your best next move is to find a good PTSD counselor and start working through all the issues. In time, things will get better. It sounds like you a very sensitive soul so be careful and take the time you need to grieve and heal.

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    • They became home and family to me. I miss them and I'm confused why I was left when I needed them the most.

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    • Yes my baby did. That's the only was iv been positive about all of this. I see no reason for everything else.

    • I guess it's time to woman up and move on. Sometimes, no matter how hard, we have to just let it go. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Move on , he is playing mind games with you, abortion is totally same as killing real person ,, i am not blaming you , but him..

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    • I'm sorry I did not mean to not like your answer and I can't seem to change it. Thank you for you reply. I'm a bit lost tho now. I love Him and the girls more than anything. I feel like half a person with out them and you are right about the abortion I didn't want to do it

  • I'm sorry but I think that you should have had the child anyways coz now you are feeling worse than you ever did before and you wished that you never had an abortion and you are feeling torn coz now you have nobody to confide in when your feeling down except your mom and some things you just don't want to say or tell about

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  • Your title is a bit misleading. It's not like he picked you up from the clinic and dumped you. From your description, you were not in a good relationship. Your issues over your choice brought out some bad behavior and it caused the destruction of the relationship. You also probably feel you were coerced into doing something you didn't want to do.

    At this point the best tactic is to accept the relationship is over, work on healing yourself regarding your abortion, and hopefully move on to another relationship.

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  • He probably couldn't deal with your emotional state anymore.

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    • So just walking away is fine? I was doing much better then he left. Why stay that long to see the results then leave.

What Girls Said 1

  • OMG, this is utterly pathetic for him to do. How you ended up with him was beyond me. This is why you wait for sex. He has the audacity to get you pregnant by having sex, but then requests you to have an abortion and you still did it. You have no idea what the situation could have been had you checked with YOUR personal doctor. You shouldn't have listened to him. He's not God. But another human being, and as a doctor and a person he was stupid. I highly believe it has to do with your 'condition'. Because if your condition was that bad he would not risk having sex with you let alone get you pregnant. No. I believe after that last mishap with him breaking up with you and then leaving his other kids with his ex-wife tells me that he felt scared to have another child, felt that it was a mistake with you, and feels utterly guilty for pressuring you into getting an abortion, knowingly that it was AGAINST your beliefs and moral principles. Sadly both you and him with have to live with these choices and the consequences of it. But I highly suggest you go get professional counseling.

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