Nice guys finish last - how I get her back?

I wrote a big post but it crashed so here goes again.. quicker this time..

6.5 years with a girl I thought was my life partner. Engaged after 5 years. Always treated her like a gentleman.

6 months ago we moved back to our home city after living away in the big smoke for a while, and travelling along the way. She seemed unhappy for a few months, so I tried to ease the pressur by cancelling the wedding.

It got worse, she started parting and drinking with coworkers. Before I knew it, she was in with a bad crowd and ended up cheating on me (sort of - a couple of kisses but the worst part was she was texting me constantly)

After initial rage wore off - I decided 6.5 years wasn't worth throwing it all away and tried to fix it. But as soon as a I did, the dynamic changed. Now I wanted her back, she suddenly didn't want me. Its like she knows im there as a back up so she is just going to enjoy being alone...

What do I do? I love this girl, and know if we had an allround amazing relationship for so long that there must be still something there.

FYI im 29 she is 26.
Side notes - She loves excitement and adventure, i have a feeling me dragging her back to our quiet-ish city was a big part in this.


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  • You decided you wanted her back, so now she feels validated, instead of feeling like she lost someone, she feels like she moved on to bigger abd better things.

    Better question is, should you even bother trying to get her back? You're still all romantic and remembering, but she's not.

    The simply truth is--a woman who loses the attraction she felt towards you can and will become as cold as if she never met you. The bitter, nasty rules of the game.

    She took the relationship and dumped it out in the trash, do you really want to be digging around in the can? As agonizingly painful as it probably is... you're better of finding someone new. And preferably younger than her, haha.

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    • When i asked what would make me more desirable? and she just said "if i saw you with another women, id probably want you back" which is pretty messed up... you're right tho. She has had no negatives out of her playing up, so why should she stop. didn't really think of it like that

  • No girl is worth th trouble, man. It's not you, it's her (seriously).

    I wish I could give you mentality. If a woman pisses me off, I just cut her loose instantly. Don't care how long I knew her or what she meant to me.

    She's bringing you down. You have to do the same.

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    • I'm fully aware its her. Even her family has the same opinions and are all on my side. Its tricky when you care about someone and its like they are a different person, a time machine would be handy

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