My boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me I don't want to leave him i need your advice please help?

My boyfriend of 4 years have cheated on eachother a couple times in the past but for almost 2 years I've been completly faithful not even ever talking to guys no guys as friends n no giving my number out n then i find out my boyfriend was seeing this girl for a month n had sex with her twice and called her his girlfriend behind my back he begged me to take h back cried to me so i took him back its unexplainable im so head over heals inlove with him but then just now i found out my bestfriend sucked my boyfriends dick around 3 years ago my bestfriend and my boyfriend have been fake we hang out all together with her other boyfriends n they have both been fake to my face for years this is too much i want to be with him but i know its wrong finding out he cheated on me with my bestfriend years ago today After just a week ago finding out he had another girlfriend on the side for a month makes me want to leave him now but 4 years i am 100% comfortable with him we still have amazing sex and this unbelieveable connection although he caused me so much pain he is the only one that can make me happy i guess u can say im whipped cause i can't see myself with anyone els should i leave? although that would hurt me more then anything but maybe help me in the future im stuck n confuses as u can see i need ur help:'(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll answer without looking at others opinions, so it's completely unbias.

    End it. First reason is because cheating is normally a clear cut answer to some bodies faithfulness towards you. If they cheat, that particular moment they weren't satisfied in some way, for some reason they cheated. The respectable thing would be to discuss anything that wasn't right and try to fix it. Cheating often means at that moment you didn't want it fixed, possibly you didn't care enough to fix it or some other relationship stigma. Now you may be wondering if this is true because, you cheated, then you were faithful. You may have realised your mistake and this kickstarted you into acting how you should around your boyfriend, maybe the guilt was too much to bear.

    His behaviour has none of those qualities. It seems to me like he got some action from your bestfriend. Effectively avoided taking responsability and thus cheated again. The fact he is doing it multiple times means he doesn't respect you. He simply doesn't, he probably enjoys the thrill of cheating on you and seeing if he can get away with it. People like this won't stop. He doesn't care about the relationship you have enough to stop, cheating to him isn't something that'll make your relationship end as he's only getting a slap on the wrist. You need to show him real consequences and do what's best for you. End it, it probably seems like you'll never feel how you do now for any other guy, you will. Probably more so. Believe me I've been through it. The best feeling in the world is when you love someone and you KNOW they fully love only you back. The feeling when they go out all night and you don't suspect a thing, only maybe that they're hiding some present somewhere in the house. You will experience it, the longer you allow yourself to be played with though, the longer it'll take you to find that special someone for you.

    Best of luck.

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    • Hopefully you've also learnt not to cheat again, I don't respect either of you for doing it, if you learnt from it though, I guess it had its benefits!

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    • I'm glad to help!
      That's a really good approach to take, as I said, it may take time, as long as you respect yourself and move forward and trust and rely on yourself enough, one day you'll find someone who you can share what is most precious to you with. Yourself. :)

      Stay happy!

    • thank u soo much!!! ur soo right

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What Guys Said 10

  • Yes you should leave. He's comfortable too, because he knows he can cheat and that you'll take him back. There's a point where you should not fight for a relationship and this is one of it. Move on from him the best you can. Otherwise he will cheat again. Only a matter of time

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  • I had a similar experience to this, although my relationship was only about half as long. In my experience, there was simply too much damage to go on and in the end, even though it hurt like nothing I've ever felt, I had to let her go. I know what it's like to be completely in love with someone and have them keep hurting you. I think you two should either take time apart to think about what you want to do or just end it. I know how you feel; you've shared so much with him and have so many amazing memories that you can't bring yourself to let go... it was like that for me too. I think that in the end, if you do decide to end it, it'll be a better choice for both of you eventually. Yes, anyone else you start a relationship with won't be the same, they won't feel the same physically or emotionally and it's gonna hurt like fucking hell and you'll probably have doubts just like I did... in the end it's up to you. Obviously I don't know enough about your relationship to guess where you'll go with it but I can guess some about how you're feeling. Think about it. I hope this helps.

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  • OMG its bad.. can i know are you still love him or not?

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  • bare in mind when commenting that the asker is no angel either. been together for 4 years, but she has only been faithful for the last 2 years of the relationship...

    You two are a messed up couple, maybe you should just split.

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    • i would break up with him thinking its over the last time i cheat i found out he was cheating hat another girlfriend behind my back for 3 months n i broke up with him n ended up then being with another guy n got back with my boyfriend after im no angel n two wrongs dont make a right n thats why if I've made these mistakes i feel like i should give him another chance too but i have gave him my all n didn't think he was lying n cheating on me i have learned from my mistakes n grown n he seems to repeat them but he's trying he's best now wrote me a card writing down his feelings for me on paper n i wanted to forgive him about cheating on me with this new girl for a month but now also finding out about my bestfriend n him cheating also im sad n can't make up my mind

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    • I'm not being rude, I'm merely stating a fact that you must have learnt how to write proper English, and that I am here trying to help you, yet I can't understand most of what you have written due to it having no punctuation along with poor lexical choices.

      So what? You're on an iPod, then spend more time writing. You are not sending texts to your friends, instead you are asking for advice on a public forum with the age range varying greatly.

      For me personally, I see a wall of text, and I am just about able to pick out a few words which is how I established that both of you are cheaters, and I think there was something about a friend sucking a dick. That is literally all I was able to understand from what you had written.

    • byeeeeeeeeeeee

  • He will continue to cheat on you. If you're cool with him cheating then stay with him. If you don't want a cheating boyfriend, better cut him loose. The right decisions aren't always the ones that feel good.

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  • This is subjective. There's only 2 options really that you can do.

    1. Stay. But at the expense of your self esteem.
    2. Leave. You will grow from your experience, a stronger person.

    Your call.

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  • U might wanna take time apart. Just evaluate if it's all worth it

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  • I honestly don't feel sorry one bit. Why should I? You know he's a cheater but still want to be with him? While there are loyal guys out there who can't get gf's? F THAT. It may sound harsh but its the truth.

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  • This story amuses me.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Girl, why are you humiliating yourself like this? End the freaking relationship if you don't want to get herpes or get your heart even more broken. He does not need you, if he did he wouldn't cheat on you so many times. He's probably laughing right now because you keep running after him and he can use you whenever he wants.

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  • Girl, why do you want to stay with someone who disrespects you like that? Who hurts you like that. Leave him, find someone better who won't treat you like that. You're a pretty girl, you just gotta know your worth. Stop surrounding yourself with worthless people including your "best friend". Life's too short for the unnecessary drama.

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  • He's so trashy LEAVE HIM you deserve someone better. If you'll say no then don't ask for an honest advice.

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