Is he wrong or me... he is making me feel like such an evil person when I would help anyone and give people my all if they needed help?

My boyfriend and I broke up and he wanted to stay friends. I'm finding it difficult to be friends with someone I loved and shared intimate time with. We still spend a lot of his free time together and still have sex. The thing is he used to remember everything we spoke about but now he can never remember and i told him that it seems like the time we have spent together must not mean much cause he never remembers conversations we have.

He then tells me iam trying to make it seem like he is loosing his memory but this is not the case I was clearly stating that the time we spent together lately is not of that much importance. But he freaked out saying he will not stand for someone making him feel he is loosing his mind. I told him its best he didn't contact me as I dont want to be friends with someone who thinks iam mentally abusing them.

Am I wrong or is he wrong because I am seriously hurt and upset that he would accuse me of this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's the "dickhead" in this case. The reason he's "forgetting" could be a form of denial, a response to the breakup. People respond differently to it. Also blaming you his a form of reaction where you "project" the ways you are wrong/bad onto others (blaming others for yelling etc when you're the real troublemaker), so thaat could be a reason.
    I'd say he got NOTHING on you. It's all his own mind. And IF he could prove how YOU make him forget, that'd be the scientific discovery of the MILLENIA!!

    I'd say if you can't stay friends you should cut contact as much as possible.

    • But i would never do that to someone thats a form of mental torture isn't it?

      Do you think he was maybe wrong about his decision to end the relationship and can't admit it or won't admit it?

      Even when I havr visited friends or celebrated my birthday he said ut seemed like i didn't care and was enjoying myself a bit too much!!!

      The way I see it he didn't want me so iam not going to put my life on hold and reduce myself to crying at home alone, it gets you nowhere and no man is interested in a needy pathetic woman.

      Why are men so Confusing?

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    • Yeah I now realise that having a teenage boy its just cause it was lying around and its cleanhaha thanks and I will definitely be enjoying my life just as much as I did before if not more now, iam single and dont have to speak in a certain way, dress how he see's suitable and do the dishes when I decide not when he decides!!!

      Thanks for help!

    • Exactly. he's an ex. He doesn't have ANYTHING to say in your life (at least as long as there isn't kids. There you're both bound by the law).

      Any yes, it is that simple when it comes to boys. Ok, sometimes we do try a little deeper, but when we do it tends to be obvious. Like when dating, and doing something extra (non-sexual). But come on, even then it's just because we really love the person, and want to do the little extra. We're kinda imple that way. So unless it's VERY obvious we don't really mean anything special by everyday stuff (the possible exception being when there's love involved).

      you're single and you're your own master :) That's the spirit

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • 1. Whatever the reason you guys broke up for, I won't assume anything
    2. But one thing is clear that he split for a reason, maybe familiarity / differences of opinion but the other thing which is for sure is that you guys have good sexual chemistry - at least by him
    3. Sexual chemistry can go for a toss when one of the or both partners is / are mind fucked
    4. He for sure wants the sex from you but probably you continued sex with him cause you have feelings for him - reason why he could remember everything when he was into you completely while he couldn't after you guys broke up
    5. But one thing remains, which is that you aren't wrong in what you did :-) you have every right to be hurt with what he said. But you didn't take into consideration the facts as mentioned in point 4 above or you did but chose to ignore :-)

  • If you're having sex, you never broke up

    • We did break up but tbh things are still pretty much relationship based going out places together having date nights he still spends his free time with me. When we have had sex we have both said that shouldn't have happened its too confusing but we still do it. But iam not a toy for him to pick up when he feels like it he either wants a relationship with me or he doesn't there is no inbetweens as far as iam concerned.

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    • I have

    • ... and?

What Girls Said 1

  • He was clearly over reacting. He propably does remember but doesn't want to. He wants to keep you as a "friend" who just satisfies his sexual need.
    I would advice you to stop havins sex and remembrring old things. Make new mem8ries as friends or stop spending yime with each others. It doesn't seem to work

    • I tried this I told him we can't be together and act like a couple as we are not, and if it can't be that way we stop spending time together but he said iam such a big part of his life he doesn't want to not see me. This makes it difficult because at some point one of us is going to move on to another partner (most likely me) but right now I feel you want friends then its just friends but he treats me like iam still his gf and its Confussing and i can't deal with being confussed. Thanks for advice

    • Im sorry, but you gotta move on now. He is being unfair to you. You broke up;, act that way. He says he wants you in his life and treats you like a gf but still says he wants nothing more but be froends, and fuck you?
      He is manipulating you.

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