Im 21 , he's 26. Over the summer we got to know each other and things were really going well. then things went sour while he went on a trip for 2 weeks. We got into an argument and it escalated quickly, a lot of things were said but I found him being quite vindictive at a certain point. B/c of his work & me being away at college , we went from being 40 minutes away from each other to an hour and 45 minutes away from each other. made things less manageable. Even when he came back from his trip , we didn't see each other for another 2 weeks. So essentially, we didn't meet up until a month after the heated argument. In b/w this , we would text & possibly have phone conversations here & there. When we finally saw each other , i thought we would take the time to talk about what we had argued about.. kinda get it hashed out &start over. But the day that we did , he wanted to go 2 his good friend's birthday party and so we did &completely pushed the talk aside. We planned to hang labor day , he cancelled.& last Saturday.. but his employees ended up screwing something up so he had to go in. All in all , we never really hashed things out..& the only time we did have a bit to talk about itwas when he went to drop me off. When he did text me to hang that evening i was already annoyed so i told him that i would see just like he had put me off , i would see if i could. Which angered him b/c he said he didn't like playing games. the argument led 2 him dismissing me from his life. I didn't hear from him , he would put Snapchat stories of the plush toy i won 4 him once. & 3 days later he contacted me. I didn't have his # at that point & small talk wasn't going anywhere esp after he asked me something & i told him not 2 take it 2 heart but tht it was somethin i talked about w certain ppl. i then asked him to not get offended but y he contacted me if he had kicked me out. He stopped texting and deleted me fron snapchat. We both messed up so idk..
- give him a callVote A
- let things cool down first , then callVote B
- he should callVote C
- its too late , just let it goVote D
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know if your married or not but here is my two cents.
When deciding whether or not to commit, be aware of the consequences divorce can have on your children and your finances "If you are married". I knew somebody that went threw a divorce and they went from being rich to being bankrupt because of the family courts. They fought for the smallest of things "who kept the house, belongings, kids, etc. but put all that aside if you do love him here are some steps that I think can help you.
You too "maybe" are often focused everywhere but your marriage/relationship. It's painful, but you need to "make time". What I mean by that is that you are focused more on your education, work, exercise, Facebook rather than the relationship. Even though these activities may seem harmless but it is a way to distract you from the relationship.
After that you need to eliminate all the name calling, etc.. "If their is any" It's not going to help. Take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why you husband/boyfriend action's disturb you. Replace the you "you always do this" with I "how I felt when". It is easy to complain but you need to learn to ask for what you want.
Get into the habit of "Is now a good time" If the goal is to connect, make sure your hs/bf is mentally and emotionally available to connect. Try to enter the his world by listening and understanding without responding. Things may look entirely different, be curious and interested in what your partner is saying. You may be surprised what you discover.
Show your hs/bf appreciation. Its a good way to decrease resentment and reinforce positive behavior. Give more than just a simple thank you but not overboard. It makes his efforts seem valued.
You still need to go on dates. Make a set time to meet.
Every individual is different, so it is important to find out what types of behaviors make him feel cared for. Ask him to write a list of behaviors that make him feel cared for and vice versa.0