Potential isn't matching reality--what to do?

If your significant other (SO) was super sweet and supportive and affectionate, helped around the house a bit, but otherwise kind of leeched off of you, how do you suppose you'd react/feel?

He's very attentive with me, but I notice that I always have to be the "leader". He didn't have anything when we met, so he moved in and we found him a part time job to start. But now he doesn't have a car or phone, so he ends up using mine. And he pitches in when he has money, but he quickly runs out, and then I'm covering the rest of the expenses every month. But when I bring up getting something full time or saving for his car or whatever, he brushes it off by saying he'll look into it, yet nothing ever happens.

He also knows I'm ready to settle down. He's somewhat mentioned marriage, but for the most part it's "let's have fun first".

I know he's not cheating or anything, but it is feeling like he got complacent and is okay with staying how we are. I, on the other hand, want him to step up and hustle just like I do everyday so that we can start building up that dream. I feel like he's not meeting me half way and am starting to question if he'll ever.

And I feel so petty for all of this, but it's come to the point where I kind of lost respect for him, and I'm not really sure what it would take to reverse it. Little things become crazy annoying and then I get frustrated with myself for feeling mean things. 😧 D:

I don't want us to stay so uneven, I just want what's best for us both. I've been trying and so far I just get more tired--physically and mentally exhausted from running around dealing with a crazy job and then an unbalanced relationship on top of that. I'm not sure what to do.

Can anyone relate? Have you hit rough patches and made it through? Or would you elect to separate and be single/find a better fit?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get up move on! The faster the better, you are likely to catch STD, sexual transmitted debt.

    If he's not on the same page you will never change him no matter how much you think you can..

    There are times when no how much the relationship means to you it simply won't work on a practical or commercial basis!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, you met a guy, let him move in, and got him a job. Like what can possibly make a person special enof where u would do that for them after recently meeting them?

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he isn't on the same page then you need to leave before you waste even more time on the wrong person

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