I screwed up with my ex (who is my best friend). What should I do?

So after the break up, we remained best friends though I have been taking longer to heal than he has. It's hard staying friends with an ex you fell in love with when he moves on and hits on other girls and such and you both know it happens. It led to me overreacting over how I would think he distanced himself with me though I might have had something to do with it and me getting upset that he doesn't want to spend time with me even as friends anymore (we hung out a lot after until a month after we broke up, and when he did ask I knew I was a last resort). I have also been going through a very rough patch since around the time we broke up (the break up didn't cause it but a lot of other things have been going on in my life as well) and I think that might have had something to do with my overreaction.

When I tried to talk about it with him one last time, he never replied to my text (we're an hour apart right now because of school) and when I called him out on it he said he has nothing to say and that he's too busy to deal with that stuff. I told him bye and to never talk to me again. That was last week. Didn't hear from him since then.

Now I know what he said was rude but since then I have been doing fine except I hate how I lost my best friend and I'm hurt on how he responded after he told me not too long before that, how I'm his best friend and how he will always want me around in his life. I felt like a terrible person ignoring almost every text of his for almost 2-3 weeks straight. I deleted every single picture with him on every social media site, even the profile pictures on Facebook. I'm afraid if I try getting him back in my life, those feelings of being hurt will come back but I'm willing to put friendship before anything this time though sometimes I feel like he treated me like shit. The relationship itself was great but after that is where every bad thing between us has happened.

Now can anyone tell me why I feel like this and what should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • im sry ima gonna be a dick here... ure are a drama filled, spiteful, cynical woman.. u admit the problem wasn't him it was prob u and stuff in ure life... when u confront him about it asking y u get mad when he says he dont want to discuss it and he's 2 busy with his life to deal with it... so u cut off all ties knowing he wanted to remain friends and not caring... deleting his pictures... now ure regretting ure rash decision and want to remain friend... if i was him ide tell u to stuff it cause i wouldn't want anything to do with u...

    im sry if i was rude but u ask our opinions and thats mine... u need to reevaluate ure life and find out more about the type of person u are b4 u go for any kind of relationship... then again considering u feel bad u prob realize u fucked up and dont deserve another chance even if u want 1...

    my opinion is u only care for ureself right now and u better work that out long b4 u even think about getting friendly with him again

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    • Well when you're depressed you do many things that you wish you never did afterwards. Unless you've actually been clinically depressed I don't wanna hear it. I'm not trying to date him again lol I don't want to. I was meaning as a friend. We were FRIENDS after we broke up. I'm aware I have issues and I'm going to work on them and I may try to talk to him again when I'm fully healed but right now I'm not emotionally capable of talking to him. I'm giving the both of us space for the time being. Plus when I tried talking to him about things because he hasn't been treating me like I should be treated (as a friend, I got sick of the treatment) and to me, it's bullshit and a sign they don't want me as a friend if they say they're too busy to deal with it because to me it shows they don't care. Nobody is too busy for a discussion and if they cared, they would take time out of their said busy life. And when I told him to stop talking to me, he didn't respond so to me it showed he didn't care

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    • well thats u and the friendship is part of the relationship... if u end 1 its nearly impossible to continue the other... a man that would rather focus on work school and his club activities then deal with the bullshit of an unhappy ex... kudos to the man for having his priorities right...

    • Obviously we all have different views to this but only me and him really know whats going on. But something I didn't ask you was to be a dick. Yes you may have said in the beginning "sorry but I'm gonna be a dick" but there's other ways to get your point across. I'd like to say more as a friend than ex though.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Many times when two people Break Up doesn't mean they Can't And Don't Make Up and that it Means: Goodbye, my love forever. And with this missing, comes the kissing, finding even More often a Friends with benefits factor, with no strings attached, no hooked at the hip, and ground rules have been laid Down----But maybe by One of you only.
    And with being in one another's lives once again, a Bestie bud relationship Bond has formed, friends till the end, but there is Most of the time, a heavy Price with this Tall Order And it Is--------Your heart that hasn't moved on, the other half Has, and there you Are, Hurting and hoping, Asking yourself Now----What should I do?
    Being he has Obviously 'Moved on,' sweetie, playing the field, making a life in his Own circle of friends, and seeing you 'Over react' as you do, he is skiddish now, puts you on his pay no mind list, and is giving you helpful hints by 'Distancing himself' that he doesn't want to a Real relationship anymore, he wants to be his own free agent, he doesn't want to feel you are looking and lurking around him, and Above All----He wants you to move on, Not using him as a First Resort.
    I think it is best that you Do just That and just forget him. You tried the Friends in need' deal, it failed miserably, your heart was the monkey in the middle, and this guy will never change his own zebra stripes Now that he is Out there and enjoying life to its fullest.
    It's good you 'Deleted' these things from the past, and with no contact, just nothing, Now you are free to lick your wounds, spend some time with yourself soul searching, and with everything else going on in your life, this will make it easier in the long run to Say----So long, baby, sorry I was such a burden.
    Yes, I feel you got a raw deal, but he never made any promises, just really wanted you back in his life on the sidelines, but by leaving you on the back burner, it was just for convenience and Yes----A last resort at his own 'Convenience.'
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • Rule #1: Never try to be friends with your ex's. Now you see exactly why. I would suggest moving on.

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  • Do your best to move on

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    • I've been friends with ex girlfriends successfully in the past. But you still take awhile to grieve the relationship and move on (no talking) for awhile. Only then can you go back and possibly be friends, after the feelings have calmed down

  • Just tell the truth. Ask for forgiveness. Move on. You can only control yourself, the rest is up to God.

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