Can't get over a jerk?

My ex broke up with me out of the blue a month ago and I decided to have no contact. He didn't even want to have a conversation about the break up other than its over and a few text messages that he didn't want to talk to me any more. This is after 3 years of being together and taking about having a future together. He then said he doesn't see a future with me but loves me and didn't want to cut all ties... this is when he finally agreed to talk to me. I said I don't want to talk to him for a long time and it's been 1 month. He wasn't the best to me, he would scream at me if we got into fights and storm out and I felt that I had to walk on eggshells with him. He was also indecisive about his life and never made any goals or took chances. Worst of all, I am going through depression and he was telling me to suck it up. I know marrying him would have been bad but I still wish I could be with him because we had good times and he was loving most if the time. I feel so torn and can't seem to find any strength or improve my self esteem. I mentally keep putting him up on this pedestal... even though I would never want my friends to be with someone like this. I feel like I can't seem to want better. Help?

Updates:
I think it's more of the void since he is gone. I lost trust in him and know I would never be able to be in a relationship with him. He is to unstable and left me high and dry after acting very normal the day before. But why can't I see that clearly?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He seems pretty horrible if iam honest, I went through a hard time and my partner was there every step of the way, he pushed me to be the person I was before this bad patch, he helped me sort all the things I let get on topof me , he told me I've had a bad yr and not everyone can deal with everything by themselves, but iam such a special person who needs to see she has so much too offer the world. If we had disagreements he would listen and come to a compromise with me. We split up after this mutual decision but he never treated me the way this man us treating you... I think you need to take a step away clear your head and think of his behaviours and how offten they are because being like this towards someone you love is not normal and there could be something else... maybe having an affair leaving you to be with her then relising the grass isn't greener on the other side or substance abuse dont accuse but you need to be strong have a clear mind because his eratic behaviour is Confussing you and your head all over the place maybe when your heads clear you find some answers you can determine if he is right for you or if its time to get rid of him

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are going to have to move on. This guy sounds like a prick.

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What Girls Said 1

  • That is precisely why you can't
    Get over him. He treated you
    Badly and you think you aren't good enough for him.

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