What is the hardest part of a breakup for you?

I thought my now ex boyfriend was a good guy when I first met him.

He seemed sweet and relationship oriented. I enjoyed being with him and he made me so happy.

A few months later I learn he has a lot of problems in life-divorce that was only final a MONTH before we met! loose finances and debts, it was also really bitter, and he acted defensive if I wanted to know details.

I also started to see disrespectful behavior, and he implied that I was texting other guys when I was not.

I saw a lot of red flags and knew I had to walk away. I knew the relationship would not work and I did not feel happy in it anymore.

I am in a sense relieved, but I feel a HUGE sadness and loss.

I dated jerks before and I thought this guy was different. Realizing that he turned into a jerk and controller (which means he could even be an abuser) and that he got annoyed at me for wanting to know about his life... reminded me too much of other exes.

Accepting that this guy i truly cared for, was intimate with, and thought could be my future, is just another jerk... is very painful. I thought I even loved him at a point. It isn't even the relationship loss I'm mourning, it's the fact that what I thought was a good guy and my future was just a jerk. That hurts me so much.

Can anyone relate?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • u need to understand he's been hurt... it takes time to get over such things... it makes a man very defensive and bitter with relationships...

    all the same u were right to ditch him ude just end up being unhappy and have the same emotional scars as he has now... every1 our age has them... i myself gave everything to the only 2 relationships I've ever had and both left me with pain... my first lasted 4 years and my 2nd for about a year... both cheated on me and im not terribly thrilled about it... u just have to deal with emotional baggage because thats life

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    • he talked down to me, didn't care about pleasing me in bed

    • very important... if u allow him to talk down to u or other people he will develop this stupid idea he's allowed to do it all the time to every1... i lived with my mother will i was 23... well she lived with me anyway... i h8 that woman with a passion and would be a rude little bastard to her cause of all the negative feelings... after that i lost the sweetnes si had and im still fighting how i talk to people... very hard thing to break and a lot of the times u dont even know ure being rude... as for pleasing u in bed well thats rude lol... i used to go down on my woman daily cause she loved it and making her squirm and the noises i could get form giving her oral compared to penetration made me feel more like a man... that dont seem selfish to me but at the same time if im not in the mood i will not put out because i just can't get the motivation to do it for her... if i cum first hahaha ya well sry girly ill try for another 5-10 mins at most but its half assed cause the moods gone...

Most Helpful Girl

  • same thing happended here... met this cool nice guy at the gas station he was nice and sweet... we dated for awhile after we had sex he told me he had 8 kids... and he also began acting out towards me... calling me whenever he wanted, trying to get me to have threesomes with him, he even said fucc you to me when i told him i would not be waking up at 5 am to drive 30 minutes to his new apartment.. i hate him but i am sad because i never thought hed be that way , and i never usually talk to strangers that try to pick up on me but for some reason i did with him... and its just dissapointment... like i dont like his personality i know he's shitty im just hurt and dissapointed that he didn't show his true colors before and that i let myself fall for him and get played...

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    • im also sad because i dont like people coming in and out of my life im not use to having guys just come and go , its not my thing so for him to do that to where he's there and then he's not anymore really got me upset and sad and hating him.. if i would of known he was gonna be a prick i would of ignored him like the rest of the men i do when im out and about...

    • I know that feeling. I gave my ex a chance because he seemed to want a relationship and we had stuff in common and he was just fun to be around. but he started to become a jerk. first a few weeks i n he misled me about something small. but then he became disrespectful about my opinions. oh, and he was selfish in bed. and he played the pity card too much. and he had a really shady past and wouldn't open up about it. and he blamed other people too much.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yep. Woman I was going to marry cheated on me... she bought two sets of gifts for me and the other guy... she even cheated on him. He ended up marrying her. I found a wonderful woman and things are great.

    The hardest part was:
    1. accepting its over
    2. The first walk away
    3. Letting distance develop
    4. Accepting responsibility-at the very least I was blind and bad judge of character and failed to listen to others
    5. Doing positive things instead of wallowing... get out and make life happen. Nobody wants to date or marry eeyore.
    6. Not getting bitter or hoping the other person is miserable... just focus on living a good life.

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  • For me it's to stop getting antsy when I hear I'm getting a text or phone call and hoping it's her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hardest part is definitely trying to get up on your own two feet as someone said before me. But for me, personally would be forgetting the guy.

    I would never go back to my ex. Because like you, he mistreated me and was extremely inconsiderate. I still think of him though, but only because of bitterness and regret of ever being with the idiot. He showed his true colors when we were together. But i guess it's always that way. They set a hook, we take the bait and we're lured in. I mean how else are we going to date the guy if he isn't sweet and charming before? How do we prevent it? Provoke him. Let's see how he really is. It really angers me when guys mistreat us. It makes some of ushate them. But i know it is also the other way around too..

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  • Hardest part of a break up?

    Finding the strength afterwards to get up and go get ice cream.

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