Make a move, keep it simple, or cut her off?

i told my ex-gf of 15 months whom I've been back and forth with since June (recently ending things in mid-august) that I'd text her to meet up in the next few days. she's the one who did all the breaking up and getting back together so we've gone through the "i miss you" stage. then it turned into an issue of depression, so fearing another break up from her end i told her to just find happiness within herself and "left the door open". i haven't seen her in 1 month, I've lost 10lbs & hit the gym. I'm pretty sure she is attracted to this guy she works with who is not only 11 years older than her , but good friends with her as well. i don't know for sure if anything has happened between them, but my gut points to yes. i love this chick, i had but she's totally in the driver seat and i was totally misled i think.

so here's my question:

1) should i even text her again in the first place to meet up? i said i would, but I'm unsure of my motives & goals of seeing her.

and if so what do you think is the best move for me to make.
A) simply get coffee with her while being friendly, flirty and confident, but ultimately just focus on having a pleasant lasting impression.
B) same as A, but ultimately just focus on telling her in a loving way "i care for you a lot and adore you but i'm not interested in doing the whole "friends only" thing. i told you that you were my baby girl and that bond we have deserves nothing less. if you change your mind feel free to reach out to me, but for now i need to focus on all the amazing opportunities i have (new job, moving out)
C) invite her to go to this nature preserve we always used to go to around sunset with a nice bottle of her favorite whiskey and be friendly, flirty and see where it goes, but ultimately show her a fun time.

then after this its all no contact for me unless she reaches out to me with something.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 1

  • Man I feel for you on this on, it really is a Delima. I went through the same thing with my now ex fiancee. Honestly I would say don't even bother meeting up with her. It'll just stir up feelings and you will be back to square one when she leaves you again. Don't be her crutch for when she gets lonely. I'm not saying break all contact, but be form with her that you two are in the past now and you can't let her keep doing this anymore. It's not fair to you too be led on like that.

    • the thing is though we have had this conversation in a similar fashion when we broke up last month. my only problem is that i wasn't firm with her and i didn't tell her the whole "i don't want to be friends " line. so in her mind she potentially knows i still love her and knowing that she's losing interest and is very distracted by this new guy. thats what makes me so ansy to do something, i just dont want to look like an unconfident, winey, ex. by talking about the relationship. and also i dont want to try and have fun with her and flirt if she's not interested in me. so even though i had mentioned to her i'd call to set up plans to meet up before i move to my new job, i should just let it go unless she contacts me regarding it?

    • Actually talking about it and putting your g
      Foot down will do the opposite. And not make you seem whiny and unconfident. But like someone who knows what they do m want and is going for it. So I'd say don't even bother talking to her maybe even if she calls about it. Or just simply tell her hey anything you have to say to me say out over therr phone or text

Recommended myTakes