Is texting another guy cheating?

So I was looking through my girls phone and saw an odd text from a person I didn't know! His name was John and yes "curiosity killed the cat" and I had to look into it more! Turns out that the girl I've been with for the last 3 years has been texting this guy for the last 6-8 months. In my eyes the texts are inappropriate and sexual in nature! Some of the contexts says to him to come over a d take care of her while others she's saying that she's attracted to him and he is to her! Also that if they would end up seeing one another it would be trouble! Am I wrong for freaking out! I do love this girl and don't kniw what or how to approach this! I may also add that when we are together it seams everything is great and there are no issues! She doesn't act weird or far! Please help with any and all suggestions!!!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's called emotional cheating... my daughter did the same thing at one point and as time went by, she developed feelings for the guy, she dropped her fiance, and the guy came to see her from England to Canada... we're not talking a short drive here. Things ended up not working out but the moral of the story is, that guy makes her "think" he's better, more thoughtful, more loving, and more sexually attentive than her current BF... she feels he understands her so much better... and why wouldn't he? Afterall he can backspace and rewrite his reply as many times as it takes until it's sounds just right... can't do that in person huh? So at some point she starts to long his company as opposed to yours... all you do is complain, or hang out with your friends or work too much or don't pay enough attention to her (whatever the case may be) and she starts to wish you were more like him (he's merely an illusion BTW) because he "gets" her and he has time for her and he's always so sweet... and what she fails to see is he's not there in everyday life dealing with stress and daily chores and relationship frustrations... what she does see is.."OMG... he's perfect! The guy I've always dreamed about" Your competing against an illusion who is so much better than you... you can't win.. better men than you have tried and failed... fairytales are always so much better than reality... sorry.

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    • Thank you for taking the time out to answer!

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not wrong in freaking out at all. It sounds like she's setting up a sexual activity with him.

    Talk to her about it but remain calm.
    Let her know that you really love her and want what's good for her... even if it's another guy (its better than her cheating).
    Then let her know that if she chooses him, you're gone.

    If she is sure the other guy will make her happy, then she should have no reason to hurt you anymore.

    What she is doing is cruel and unfair. You don't deserve a girl that has the tendency to do what she is doing.

    I'm sorry and good luck bro. Hope things work out.

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    • Thanks bro! Keeping calm is going to be the hard part! I truly do love her but this shit needs to be addressed!

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What Girls Said 3

  • id go ahead and say texting isn't cheating... until you start fliriting then its close enough to cheating. id just lay it out for your girlfriend to pick and make a choice. and you def deserve an apology.

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    • Thanks for your input! I do appreciate it!!

  • Cheating. Go ahead and confront her. She might just be playful but when confronted she should stop if she appreciates your relationship with her.

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  • at first i thought that it was friendly then you mentioned the text of sexual nature... confront her about it

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    • I agree. Considering it is going on for such a long time and she hasn't met him, she may view it as harmless flirtation.

      (And he shouldn't use so many exclamation points when he talks to her)

    • Thank you!

What Guys Said 8

  • for the last 7-8 months? how did you find that out? did she keep all that texting history for that long? anyways if you can find a subtle way to bring it up then do it but you've only found some texting stuff, you have no "red-handed evidence" yet so don't do anything out of impulse until you know for sure something is going on, otherwise you're gonna screw yourself over lol.

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    • Yes about 6-7 months it started. I found out by going through her phone which isn't right but I just had a guy feeling something was up. Yes all the old text history is there and if she does or did erase it now I took screen shots of it. Thanks for the advice!

  • Women can be very two faced and sneaky. Confront her, let her know she's busted and watch her squirm trying to explain it. Then dump her.

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    • Not just women... men can be just as 2 faced and sneaky... just ask my ex why he's now my ex!!!

    • Did I say ALL women? No, I said women.

    • Thank you! Definitely going to confront her and call her out on this one!!

  • yes it's cheating. texting a guy in and of itself certainly isn't cheating but the context and nature of her texts are clearly cheating.

    I would confront her about it and put a 100% stop to it ASAP or break up with her... I'd probably just break up though since it seems clear she has no issue with being unfaithful to you

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    • Thanks for answering! Greatly appreciated!

  • Umm Houston we have a problem. She is cheating on you and you better get it to light before things get bad to worse.

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    • Houston here that's a copy!!! Thanks man!

  • I hate to say it but I would almost certainly drop her. I just want more then that from a girl. I wouldn't mess around with something like that. The reason I say this is because I've found better than that. I would NOT do that to a girl I love.

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  • Don't waste your time with a cheating girl , leave her she doesn't deserve you.

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  • That is how cheating starts with just one letter

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  • Confront her about it. And don't tell her u been threw her phone and see what she says... to see if she's gotta tell the truth or not.

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