Contacting an ex after one year of not talking?

About one year ago my and my girlfriend stopped contact after a 6 month relationship, she moved on in my face no more than 3 days after we stopped talking, which really hurt me.

She stopped contacting me because she thought that I was becoming needy and insecure which kind of disgusts me because this is not who I am. She thinks this because towards the end of the relationship she started acting differently towards me and I asked her a few times if there was a problem. She kept telling me no, and she told me she was still interested, even though she was showing no interest, it was like her calling and texting were out of habit.

We are still friends on Facebook, and all of our photos together are still up on her page ( I looked for the first time in year just recently)

After much consideration, and letting it go for one year, I have realised, yes I want her back, not because my ego was bruised, but because after months of not even thinking about her and seeing other people, no one has come close.

So, if I contact her, what do I say? Do I bring up something that reminds her of the good times? Is this a waste of time?

  • Don't contact her
    Vote A
  • Wait for her to contact you
    Vote B
  • why are you even thinking about this
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • its a tricky 1 my friend and i have been in a
    similar situation i voted dont contact her but on 2 nd thoughts i would send her a brief Facebook inbox saying "hi how are you its been a while". i wouldn't go into how u want to get back togetha as u dnt want the embaresment of another rejection. if she has been missing u 2 she will say! all the best

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What Girls Said 1

  • if you have still have feeling for her let her know and she might give you a second chance and if she doesn't shell at least know that you care about her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm in a similar situation OP.

    I dated a girl for about 6 months and really fell for her. She was amazingly sweet, and genuine, intelligent and funny as hell. She was also incredibly shy and took a long time to warm up to people. She broke it off on the phone, crying, saying she just didn't feel things yet. I immediately went NC and 3 months later she contacted me wondering what was up. She went through a tragic situation and I was the first person she wanted to talk to. (Weird, right, since she broke things off with me) We talked another 4 times in text and had a 3 hours long phone call and it was great. But she still didn't want to try again. I think it was all very stressful for her... dating.

    That was over a year ago. I've gone on plenty of dates, saw another women for a few months. And I'm single again. And I find myself still thinking about the one from over a year ago. I wonder if I should reach out. Even if to just say hi.

    I'm at a point that I'm indifferent of any outcome. I don't have any expectations, and in fact, I know that there are other girls out there.

    I'd say that the same goes for you. Reach out if you really want to... but do so knowing and feeling that there may be no outcome for you. Don't be needy or desperate, just reach out in simple terms. Take one step at a time. If you feel yourself getting anxious at the thought of doing it, or wondering when or if she'll reply... then I'd say you're not ready.

    I don't think you can game the system or plan in any way what to say to get the outcome you desire. You first can't expect any outcome. So just say hello, how are you? If she doesn't respond, that's it. If she does, start things slow. If the conversation is great, let it develop. Don't have some grand scheme in mind because it won't work and you'll be left saddened that you're idea didn't plan out.

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