How to get an ex back when I was the dumper?

I broke up with my ex boyfriend about a month ago (a mistake) due to stress and things being kind of hectic in my life.
I feel awful because I honestly feel as if it was a mistake.

i apologized to him for any hurt I caused and I just said that I wasn't asking anything of him regarding our relationship other than to understand that I am sorry I made a mistake
He didn't respond to that but he acts friendly in person. sometimes we'll text but in person he'll avert eye contact and whatnot. i even invited him somewhere and he seemed happy to come.

We were very happy and we meshed well together. our mutual friends were actually upset for us when we broke up because we got along very well and he was apparently very happy to be with me, which he hasn't been with a few of his past girlfriends.
There are no hard feelings really, at least I don't believe so.
I wanna ask him to talk it out with me, but how? should I wait a bit longer?
I honestly find those "act like you don't care" games extremely silly and childish. I'm independent and overall "okay" being alone but going out of my way to prove I don't need him, ignoring him, ect. seems ridiculous and if a guy did that to me I would move on in a heartbeat.
Any advice you could give me to try to fix a mistake I feel I've made, and how to invite him to talk it out if i should? Remember, he isn't openly upset with me and I don't think he has any ill feelings towards me except for some hurt he may be hiding.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him that you two need to talk, and that it's important. Explain everything to him, what YOU did wrong (it's your fault only, and no matter what it's all your fault), how you feel and everything.
    Say you understand it if he doesn't want you back, but that you want him back and hope he's able to forgive.
    Expect a no, but hope for a yes.

    That's the ONLY thing you can do really. Be 100% honest

    • Okay thank you. I'll see what I can do!!

    • Show All
    • Ask him to meet somewhere with the intention to put all cards on the table and at least sort it out in a clean way.

    • okay thank you, I will! i still feel like it's a bit soon so I'll keep in touch and then ask him to meet somewhere in about a week. I don't wanna hammer him about it i guess.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Many times just because two people BreakUp doesn't mean they Can't And Don't MakeUp And that it Is-------Goodbye, my love. In your case, I don't see That big a problem, and with This Particular 'a mistake a month ago,' I believe it Can be mended if handled in a certain baby step style.
    Open lines of communication are One the most important things needed in 'Fixing' a Flat when it comes to a relationship, old or new. Without it, everything will just go dead in the water, and the War of the Roses would Mark the X with an EX that would Leave a permanent scar in its troubled tracks.
    No, you're right... No "act like you don't care games," they are Not only immature, but a waste of precious time Needed to Get right to the heart of the problem at hand.
    Contact him and tell him you would like to meet for dinner. Even if you have to fix a cozy dinner for two at your place, arrange it. Pour your heart out, once you have him where you want him and from there, let everything begin its own beguine to nurse and nurture these war wounds back to normal again. Slowly, with time, effort and patience, Back to where the 'hurt may have been hiding,' to where the tender heart really belongs.
    If you both really have what it takes to ignite this spark again, then work hard to make it work Better this time, no 'Stress, no worries,' Let love lead the lighted way.
    Good luck, god bless. xx

    • thank you so much, you have a beautiful way of writing as well!
      I'll do my best :)

    • Thank you so much, sweetie... Comes from my heart, comes easily, I know what to say, and You will too when it comes to being with the One you love and always will... xxxooo

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What Guys Said 3

  • Since he's being nice to you, it means he doesn't really hold a grudge or anything. Its still a bit early, so just give him some time. he'll likely get back together with you. Good luck! :)

    • Most importantly, just keep in touch with him constantly.

    • Okay thank you! :) I'll give him awhile, but I'll still be friendly with him and hopefully that'll work.

  • OMFG... not going to be much help here's far as your situation but I am in the exact same situation with a role reversal I had to comment on this so that I can see the post and try and help my situation out as much as possible.

    • haha okay :) hope you can find help!!

    • Show All
    • I'm not at all unhappy about it. Just more scared than anything I have in my life because I do not want to lose this woman. I want to spend however long I have left on this planet with her and I'm just scared to screw it up

    • being afraid will only cause problems-just think about what you did wrong and don't repeat your actions! and most of all, when problems arise (which they will), fight for your woman and don't give up :)

  • Foolish move.


What Girls Said 1

  • Text him saying that you miss him or the times you shared together, not constantly but once in awhile. It will kinda be like dropping clues that you're still interested in him so that when you do actually break the news that you're still into him, it won't come as that much of a shock.


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