This guy is ruining my relationship. How can I stop it. HELP?

This guy is really pissing me off. I don't think I have sent any hints that I am okay with his behavior or anything. I am just friendly like I am with every other person. For the past 4 weeks, he has tried to take contact with me though calling, texting, facebooking, snapping.. etc. At first I was only friendly with him (cause my best friend is a good friend of his), but later on I started to notice how he was flirting. asking me to hang out one time ever week, dance with him, exercise with him, Skype with him.. etc. The list goes on and on. As harmless as some of this things seems, I notice that he is interested in more than just friendship. Cause I hanged out with him once (my boyfriend knows) where it was pretty obvious (wanted to take me out for dinner, watch a movie, he meeting my friend. I meeting his friends). Last night he posted about how mad he was on a girl, depressed, how he didn't want to live and sad he was. He had already said "hey" to me that day, but I didn't answer. I saw this and got worried. So I asked him if he was ok, he was like no.. We can hang out again, and I will tell you all about it (is this a trick?). I am mad, and don't know how I will turn him down in a nice, but sure way. I just want him to stop. If not friendship than I am not interested. I am in a committed relationship, and has been for almost 2 year (but dated for 1 year before), so this is a very huge problem. It has been rocky lately because of this.

by the way he knows I am in a relationship, but I guess he doesn't care.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cut contact completely. This guy is going to always be pestering you like this. And 'suicidal' messages are giant flags of emotional manipulation in progress. You must have zero tolerance for that or it will escalate. You are not responsible for his happiness, that is something he has to work out on his own.

    This is causing you problems with your 'real' relationship, that's totally more than enough cause to cut contact with this guy. You have to be thorough, and you have to be firm. No contact in any form. Not appropriate behaviour.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that he is trying to prove to his friends that he can get any girl even a taken one so don't go for it. Just say that he is annoying you... I did the same with this guy and he stopped right away but after a few weeks he tried one more time so I slapped him.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Ask him whether he likes you then if yes tell him you're in a relationship and his advances are making it impossible to even be friends with him. if he keeps 'making advances' tell him quite clearly to fuck off

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  • Just cut contact. Don't buy into his manipulation. It's just a way to try and guilt you into keeping him around. He sounds like the type of guy who mistakes friendliness and attention for you liking him. If cutting him off entirely doesn't work, be blunt. Tell him you don't see him as anything other than as a friend, and if he keeps it up he'll lose that as well. Sometimes it takes a little harshness to drive the point home.

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  • be as annoying as possible to him or around him whenever you see him

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  • You have already answered your question. Drop him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You could tell him that your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with you teo hanging out with each other
    Or..
    Introduce him to your boyfriend :)
    Did that once. The guy finally backed off.

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    • This. See if your boyfriend can't send the message across. Make sure you back him up as well.

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