I know most people will think that a long term relationship means very little when you’re 20. But she was there when I transitioned from an adolescent to a young adult. She helped me get through university and work on a career. And as friends fleeted in and out of my life, she was the one constant factor I could always depend on.
I guess that it’s not the end of the relationship or the pain this heartbreak has caused that I find to be the worst part. The worst part it easily just how scared I am. I’ve never been single as a young adult, I have no idea how to respond to people asking me what I’m going to do. I’m in a whole new town with only a handful of friends and for the first time I feel like I’m going to have to face the big scary world on my own. I had plans and dreams - I still do - but I feel like a face has been cut out of every future photograph I take. We used to talk about moving, getting dogs and what jobs we’d do; now all I can see her as is wasted time and effort. We live together which makes it even worse.
I don’t hate her, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I saw it coming - It feels horrible for me to type that or think it - but it’s true. Over the past few months, as we’ve been approaching the end of university, it has become clear that a lot of our values are out of sync. But still all the terms of endearment bounce around inside my head, the memories and moments we shared are permanently scarred onto my mind. I’m in so much pain.
I just need someone to tell me it's going to be okay…
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Most Helpful Girl
It broke my heart reading this, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. To put this advice simply; time heals all wounds. Time is what you need to deal with what has happened. I don't know how long it will take, it could be months or it could be years. But your heart will mend itself and life will continue and this will all just be a distant memory. One that you won't forget, but one that you will view as a lesson and will cross your mind time to time. Everything in life is either a blessing or a lesson, remember that.
But for now, realise you need to give yourself time to be angry, upset, confused and/or any other emotion you may be feeling. It's more than normal to feel these emotions and its healthy to let it all out. You need to allow yourself to do this as its apart of the healing process. The next important part is you need to talk about your feelings, which is also a method of coping. Tell whoever you trust, or anyone you want to tell. Write down your feelings, as that helps me so much. Create a blog, like you said. That's a perfect idea. Writing will strip you of your weights. When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. But remember that you still have a future and new memories will replace and heal the old ones. There's a reason this relationship never worked out, and once you are ready to move on you can be excited for the new memories and people that are waiting for you. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. This chapter in your life has ended, however you still have a whole novel to write. I wish you all the best, and I want you to realise everything will be okay, even if you can't see it right now. It will be okay. If you ever want to talk, please message me. I am more than happy to just be there for advice or someone to talk to. I hope I have helped you in some way. xox2
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