My ex boyfriend was arrested for domestic violence and is lying about everything that happened saying I made everything up. please read/help?

I want to go to the police station to get a copy of the police report to prove that I am not lying about what happened that day. I've tried to take the high road and be the bigger person throughout all of this, but it's gotten to the point where I feel like I have to defend myself and I don't know how else to do it other than getting a copy of the police report to prove people wrong. The people who matter the most to me know the truth and believe me. In fact, we live in a very small town and most people know the truth. He was absolutely in the wrong that day. He choked me and hit me multiple times. There was a witness who saw and called the cops (I did not call the cops). However, my ex boyfriend is doing everything he can to try to make it seem like I either am responsible for everything, or that I made everything up.

I feel like I am in a position where I need to defend myself. It's mostly all his friends who are siding with him, which I understand, but I'm not sure if they truly believe he did nothing or if they are just lying to people to try to protect him. Which I understand. But I am clearly the victim in this matter and I'm sick of certain people making me out to be the bad guy. This all gets back to me because there are plenty of people who know the truth and they want me to know that this is what's being said... but I feel like I cannot move on and let this go until I prove to everyone the truth.

Is that really necessary? So far I have kept my mouth shut and tried to be the bigger person. But hearing all these lies from my ex boyfriend is really hurtful and disrespectful. Should I get a copy of the police report to show to people? Will that make me look crazy or immature? I don't want to disrespect my ex, however, I don't want idiots to continue to slander me and my name.



Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a quote that goes "Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble".

    I think by saying and doing nothing, you are simply being the better person. I think there is a time to defend oneself and a time to look forward and say, "better to simply put this behind me". You have your health, your life and the person who hurt you is now simply word of mouth and no longer a physical part of you life. He sounds like someone not worth knowing or wasting anymore energy on. Move on with your life and let it be... Good luck...


Most Helpful Girl

  • @ I've tried to take the high road and be the bigger person throughout all of this,

    why.., i dont understand this. he beat you. he should pay for it. end of story. being a big or small or flay or round person has nothing to do with anything.

    fact of the matter is he committed a crime consciously and must face the consequences. its not your job to soften the blow. its his job to own up. if he won't do out on his own he needs to be forced.

    I'm getting the picture that you probably had other occasions where you should have done something but wanted to rise above it all be the big person. dont ever do that again. someone uses violence against you thats it. give no more chances. take action.

    and toss any asshole out of your life who is choosing to mitigate disregard and demean our experience and or your word. no use for those people.

    • so you think I should show people the report? I'm worried about how that might make me look.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well if they have all these opinions about you, you don't need them in your life. You have a copy of the police report, you know what happened. Who cares what everyone else thinks? And if it becomes a problem at the job or such, you can always show the police reports there. Otherwise, if people are shallow enough to side with your ex and turn against you, you don't need them anyway.


What Girls Said 2

  • Girlie you have nothing to prove if they don't believe you its because they've believed his lies.. Who cares about disrespecting him he did that by touching you.. Who cares about his feelings.. I was in the same relationship 2 years ago called the cops never looked back even after he violated my protection order 6 months later I filed another police report... His po said he needed to stay the hell away from me because im kryptonite to him... Stick to your guns Hun you deserve justice... If you need anything you caN message me

  • his friends are always gonna side with him. there is nothing you can do about it. they won't stop being his friend because he abused you. even if they do believe he did it, they'll justify it in a way to make it your fault as if he had no choice but to beat you.

    defend yourself when you need to. like if people approach you talking shit. but other than that why give people copies of police reports? that won't change anything. its public record, they could get their hands on it if they wanted to but right now they just want to upset you and intimidating you into dropping it

    • I was thinking about posting it to facebook. However, I don't want to slander my ex. I just want to clear my name so people stop saying I am the bad guy or that I made everything up. I want people to see the proof. But you're right, it's only his friends who are siding with him because he has lied to them and is trying to manipulate everyone. But it's not fair. I dropped the charges because I cared about him but now I feel like he deserves a consequence.

    • slandering means lying. if you tell the truth then its not slander. and you dropping the charges means he will never face the consequences for what he did. he doesn't give a fuck about you but you don't want to slander him? go ahead and post it on facebook, he did it so he can own up to it

    • thanks. I've been thinking about it for months now and I don't think I'll feel better until I post it. It might not be the most mature thing to do, but so far I've done everything in my power to handle this appropriately

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