Was I a good GF or bad one?

Bad:
I was prideful & thought I was really smart bc of my grades & double major.
Because of my mom, I was defensive in arguments, but usually admitted I was wrong when I was left alone to think about it.
Would tell him everything what happened to me that day, the funny stories, but also the drama with my mom.
I'd get depressed often (discovered it was just hormones :p)
I'd want to text him throughout the day (we were LDR) & wanted to hear his voice before I went to bed every night. Kind of needy I guess in that way.
Sometimes I was disrespectful & would interrupt him when he was talking & sometimes not listen to what he had to say.
I'd try to get him to change his career bc I thought he could do better.
Made fun of his height when I first met him :/
Had grass-is-greener syndrome sometimes (but never left or cheated)
I dumped all of my old hurts & fears onto him in a sense by sharing everything with him.

Good:
I wasn't jealous
Took me a while, but I was trusting
Thought of his gifts months in advance
Bought him things like real swords, beer mugs, sent pizza to his dorm, t shirts just because I loved him etc.
Loved giving head :p
Complimented him in front of his friends
Gave free massages!
Wrote him little love notes & put them in his room random places
Let him know the real me, faults & all
Was 100% honest
Tried to help him become more understanding of other's faults
Told him I was proud of him & believed in him
Loved his family & bought them gifts
Loved his heritage & would research it
Would initiate the physical a lot
Told him I loved him often
Helped him feel better when he was sick
I dont think I ever critisized him... except that one time he wore a Narnia-like, floor-length fur coat & a spiky beanie hat into a gas station just for attention lol


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The other things that aren't still on the list are common things that every couple even perfect ones would go through and aren't all that bad.

    Bad:
    I was prideful & thought I was really smart bc of my grades & double major.
    I'd get depressed often (discovered it was just hormones :p)
    Sometimes I was disrespectful & would interrupt him when he was talking & sometimes not listen to what he had to say.
    I'd try to get him to change his career bc I thought he could do better.
    (The hurts and feelings thing isn't really a problem because he is supposed to be there to help you past thoughts its be different if you invoked those feelings onto him from past pain.)

    The other things that aren't still on the list are common things that most couples generally do.

    Good:
    I wasn't jealous
    Took me a while, but I was trusting
    Bought him things like real swords, beer mugs, sent pizza to his dorm, t shirts just because I loved him etc.(Little strange but it depends on how long you were together)
    Loved giving head :p
    Complimented him in front of his friends
    Wrote him little love notes & put them in his room random places
    Let him know the real me, faults & all
    Was 100% honest
    Tried to help him become more understanding of other's faults
    Told him I was proud of him & believed in him
    Loved his family & bought them gifts (mmm pretty weird, pretty weird [that's some wife type stuff] but it still depends on how deep the relationship was, you don't say in your question)
    Would initiate the physical a lot
    Told him I loved him often
    Helped him feel better when he was sick
    I don't think I ever criticized him... except that one time he wore a Narnia-like, floor-length fur coat & a spiky beanie hat into a gas station just for attention lol

    Overall you were a pretty good girlfriend and you just went through your moments with your boyfriend like most other couples.

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    • The only thing I would change is disrespectfulness/interrupting, trying to change his career to what you think is better instead of trying to change it to what makes him happy, and try to gauge the give and take in the relationship it seems like you gave a lot (Nothing wrong with being a passionate partner I am the same way) and didn't receive as much in return.

    • Show All
    • None of my family got scared with marriage if there is fear then that is not good omen.

      This good guide:

      artofmanliness. com /2008/05/08/ how-do-you-know-when-shes-the-one/

    • I think its because he's only 21. And no, I am giving him space. He knows how much I love him. If he wants to talk to me, he has my number. I'm thinking its quarter life crisis. He told me he doesn't even know what to do with his life at all anymore.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound like a decent woman but you should know that dumping emotional issues onto your partner is bad news. I used to do that too and it ended in divorce.

    We got married at 20 and things were good for a little while but he told me he lost his feelings after meeting someone else and he left me to enjoy his life with her. It took me a lot of soul searching to realise that men have their own issues to deal with and can be overloaded if they constantly have to deal with our issues too.
    There are plenty of women that will let them relax and have fun and I just made everything so serious.

    I was crazy about him but he has not contacted me since he left. My parents keep telling me to get him back but he won't answer my calls or messages. I am still in counselling.

    Reading what you have put makes it all seem one way between you so I have to warn you that he will soon leave you if this continues. Please stop putting all of your issues on him. Honesty is good and continue that but make sure honesty and issues don't become the life of the relationship.

    How would you feel if the man kept dumping all his issues on you? Thinking in this way helped me understand what I did wrong. Don't make the same mistakes as me.

    Best of luck and many wishes!

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    • It's too late, he left me about two months ago :( it wasn't one sided, we were best friends too. He would also share all his emotional problems with me, but he hardly had any compared to me :/

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What Guys Said 1

  • the whole good bad thing is very fuzzy now

    no it does not sound good though I guess if those things you wrote are right

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