Ex BF texted and messaged me yesterday. Do I respond? What does it mean?

My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago after dating for almost 2 years. There was a bit of drama after the break up and it was a painful one for me. He's an alcoholic with a wandering eye, that's what ended it. Anyways, I've been on Plenty of Fish for two months now and two weeks ago when I was searching through men, my ex popped up. Out of curiosity, of course I viewed it and saw he lied about his age, schooling, etc. I Didn't message him or do anything further, then I kept on my search. About a week ago I did the same thing and he popped up again. His pic was different so I viewed it (Huge mistake I guess). I guess you can see when people have viewed you and he did. So he sent me a message on POF three days ago asking me to "please stop viewing me and I'll do the same, thanks." I didn't respond. I had not viewed him since he sent that. Then he texted me two nights ago late at night and repeated himself, "I don't want to text you over stupid stuff... but please stop viewing me on POF because it's weird. No need to respond, just stop it."
Okay. If I saw that he viewed me (which I can't because he's hidden his views on me) I would have seen it and moved on.
My question (A), why would he feel the need to do this? (B) I have not responded and I want to show him that he can't keep hurting me and making me feel stupid, so I shouldn't say I word right?
Please tread lightly men, but please tell me what you think his reasons were? If he was moved on, why would he even care that I viewed him and why would he say anything? I will never view him again. I viewed him TWICE, not 17 times like a stalker would. I honestly don't want to know who or what he's dating. It'd be too painful. It was all curiosity since I haven't seen anything of him in months and I wanted to see what lies he was putting out there, and he did, a lot.
I wonder if he had to send me these messages because he knows I saw all the lies he's posted. Now he's pissed. Advice please!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't know if he still feels something for you, but at least he messaged you I guess. I doubt he'd message you 'that's weird' out of the blue.
    You could message him and tell him why you were looking at his profile. Or 'just' cut your losses and start moving on.

    • I feel like if I message him to explain myself then I may just end up looking like an idiot. This guy loves to make me look bad and feel stupid in order to make himself look good. I've thought about messaging him and letting him have it but I don't know what good that'll do either. I wonder if just being silent is the best route? No matter what I want to make it look like he hasn't bothered me in any way, I do not want him to feel power over me. I don't know what to do... and it was three days ago. If I respond now I may look even more dumb? I just need a guy to tell me how their minds work and if by not responding, of that pisses him off more. Thoughts?

    • Show All
    • Opinion Owner... I can't handle responding because he'd just respond with hate and mean things. He's become a mean person and there's even a good possibility that if I responded, he wouldn't respond back. I have sent him long messages apologizing for a dumb thing I did after we broke up and he found about, I told him I care for him immensely and that when he wants to change himself for the better (quit drinking) then I'd be here for him. I have been nothing but nice to him, pour my heart out and then I get no response. I even texted him the day my grandfather died and he never responded. That's the type of guy he is. He's immature enough to not even say thank you for the kind things I've said and couldn't even provide "I'm sorry" after my gpa died. It's sadly clear to me that he doesn't care about me and probably never did. Or this is his defense or "revenge" to get back at me for not putting up with addictions anymore. Too scared to respond, cuz I'll get nothing back but hate.

    • Thank you for your help.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't contact him. He seems toxic. There is a reason why you broke up in the first place. Block him if you can

    • What's with the hate, he doesn't seem that toxic. Just lying on his profile.

      And what's up with the childish blocking advice?

    • Darkfoxjj... This guy is somewhat toxic. I will not block him because that's just childish. If I was being harassed then that's a different scenario. We had an ugly break up. It is sad that he has to lie cuz he's a 33 year old loser, no car, shitty job and an alcohlic. So he's a bit toxic and has to lie a lot in order to make himself look good.

    • @ asker to me it seems you are on the right track. I recommend blocking, only if you want him not to bother you again. Let the past stay in the past. Ur call though

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