Does my ex boyfriend want me back or is he leading me on?

My ex Boyfriend/fiancee of 4 years, dumped me about 6 weeks ago.
Since then, i have moved out. We have been in constant contact. Spent 4 weeks arguing about the break up, mostly via text. He works offshore for a month, every other month.
On moving out, my boyfriend said he was sorry for hurting me and didn't want to be without me and wanted us to work on improving our relationship.
We both agreed that we needed some space and a break from the break up. I still wanted to move out, to focus on myself and being more independent and happy.
Since then, he has gone back to acting indifferent and uninterested. I asked him about this...
He answered, he didn't want to give me hope, and he's still not sure if that is what he wants. He said he'd like to try but is not sure. I told him, when he acts cool and aloof, he comes across as uninterested, he says he isn't , otherwise he wouldn't message or offer to help with things. I asked him what he wanted and he was vague. So i came out with "does this mean we are both single and can see other people?" he looked shocked but said, "yes i suppose so" but then quickly said "but i don't want to see other people and if i do want to see anyone, it will be you" , i just answered "hmmmm, but i can't be put on ice" and he agreed, he then said, he's hoping things will change and improve with us and that he might want to get back together, i told him, he's not giving me much incentive! he dumped me, kicked me out, was nasty is showing no interest or making any effort. I also said." i don't know if i will want this after some time because of all those reasons..." . We both agreed that we haven't had a chance to miss each other, and then i just said," lets have some time apart and left " he looked worried! I plan to give us both space now. My question is, Does he really want to get back together? or is he just stringing me along?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whether he wants you back or not, forget him. He's your ex. This is exactly why once you're broken up, cut all contact with ex's.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's genuinely unsure. He shouldn't have been nasty about the breakup, but he's being as honest as he can be. He's confused. He clearly loves you, but something is broken. He knows he can't keep going on the way it had been going, but he's also afraid to lose you. It's a tough spot, and often how many people feel in a breakup, which is why breakups are so hard.

    The only thing you can do is take the breakup seriously. Don't allow yourself to be put on ice or strung along, and then it won't matter what his intentions are. He either wants all of you or he doesn't, right? If he's not ready for all of you, then you're broken up. Focus on you for a bit, and date others when you're ready, but don't allow yourself to be a halfway girlfriend for him.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly think he doesn't know, but he shouldn't play games. He should remain upfront about how he feels, even if he's unsure what he wants. Otherwise it's unfair to you!


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