A guy shattered me into pieces?

and im a very proud woman so just saying this is painful but yea... its a long painful story but anyway its been years now and till now the second a guy implies he likes me or flirts or anything all alarms in my head start going crazy and i go on attack mode (i dont actually attack or anything but i get super defensive)

i also lose ALL trust in the guy i dont know why but i know i really can control this and i can't live like this forever and i want to forget and be better i hate feeling damaged and lonely like this

the thing is i opened up to him a 100% (literally) like no mind games no subtle messages no nothing, and he played me like... ugh w/e

like i said im a proud woman and the fact that i wrote this just says i hit rock bottom...*Sighs*

help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The first and foremost step in your journey to recover is to rid yourself of the vice like hold your ex has on you and your ability to be happy. To accomplish this, you need to completely and utterly forgive him.

    This, though, does not mean you have to accept or forget what her did. You need to forgive him for yourself, to release the acrimony, fear and stress his actions has caused you. To remove him from your thoughts and influencing your decisions.

    At the same time, realize his disloyalty was not the result of your doing. Then, you will likely begin to trust in your instincts and your judgement of character of others. Which, in turn, should progressively help you successfully date others.

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    • but how do i "forgive" him? like i said its been a long long time and i tried to be 100% honest with myself and im sure i dont want him back and dont have those kinds of feelings for him. but its like the scar is still there

      i was going through THE worst time ever. and was most fragile... he practically kicked me when i was down

      but yea i feel like im really over him... how can i "forgive" him? and we dont talk anymore by the way no contact at all

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    • really? so i need... time? and an outlet? really that will fix it?

      you sir are awesome.. thank you so much

      here take a cookie
      *gives cookie as i vote you most helpful*

    • oh and yea, i think the answer is no to the first one thats probably why i still feel this way even though im over him... hopefuly ill be able to one day

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What Guys Said 3

  • Proud woman... LOL

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    • i hope you feel as broken as i am and someone gives you a comment like this

  • Life is about risk and moments of vulnerability. It sucks when you land on your face, but if you ever want to fly you've got to keep leaping...

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  • It's always hard to be broken down and to start putting oneself back together. From this experience you have to keep what will help you and make you stronger in the future and let go what will hold you back (its easier said than done I know), like you said you are a proud woman and that's good because it means you also may have strong will, this is where you will yourself to heal. Guard yourself but don't prejudge the guy before you know what his intentions really are, every persons intentions have patterns if you recognize them the better guarded you are of not falling in the same situation. Just don't close yourself off to the possibility of being with some one because it indeed will bring a world of loneliness. Don't give up hope there are good guys out there still.

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