and im a very proud woman so just saying this is painful but yea... its a long painful story but anyway its been years now and till now the second a guy implies he likes me or flirts or anything all alarms in my head start going crazy and i go on attack mode (i dont actually attack or anything but i get super defensive)
i also lose ALL trust in the guy i dont know why but i know i really can control this and i can't live like this forever and i want to forget and be better i hate feeling damaged and lonely like this
the thing is i opened up to him a 100% (literally) like no mind games no subtle messages no nothing, and he played me like... ugh w/e
like i said im a proud woman and the fact that i wrote this just says i hit rock bottom...*Sighs*
Most Helpful Guy
The first and foremost step in your journey to recover is to rid yourself of the vice like hold your ex has on you and your ability to be happy. To accomplish this, you need to completely and utterly forgive him.
This, though, does not mean you have to accept or forget what her did. You need to forgive him for yourself, to release the acrimony, fear and stress his actions has caused you. To remove him from your thoughts and influencing your decisions.
At the same time, realize his disloyalty was not the result of your doing. Then, you will likely begin to trust in your instincts and your judgement of character of others. Which, in turn, should progressively help you successfully date others.1
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