Ex boyfriend and I together three years? Friends? Do y'all think ex's being friends actually work?

My ex boyfriend and I had been together for three years off and on. We grew apart, not together. And it hurts to say that... We recently broke again after he spent an hour basically telling me that, he can't commit to anyone, I should find someone else and he will support me. I was really hurt, the night before we went on a date and we were both saying that the things we do together we can't do with anyone else, and I thought that was us establishing that we were in a relationship. Then a day later he tells me, we haven't established anything. He said that us having sex was a physical thing, that sucked too.. I thought it was supposed to be emotional when you love someone.. (he's also 19 I'm 16). I stayed quiet the whole car ride while he went on and on. And then he told me that if we start dating other people we should just accept it, and support each other. And then I burst into tears.. I felt so hurt and stupid.. Guys I know what he meant but what did he really mean? And do you guys believe that a relationship with so much emotions, struggles, and memories, can turn into being just friends? I feel like I can't do it. But what if he changes his mind and decides he wants to commit, and I'm not there anymore?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact that he is encouraging you to move on and date other guys suggests that he does not plan to revisit being in a committed relationship with you in the near future.

    He is aware of the feelings you have for and the pain he will cause you by dating others. Thus, in my opinion, it is unfathomable to believe he is unaware that remaining friends with you in such circumstances is a long shot.

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    • This is hard to accept

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What Guys Said 2

  • "And do you guys believe that a relationship with so much emotions, struggles, and memories, can turn into being just friends? "

    No, it won't happen.

    "what if he changes his mind and decides he wants to commit, and I'm not there anymore?" Doesn't matter, you can't keep going back to him and ruining your life. Move on.

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    • ... How am I ruining my life... wtf 0______o

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    • Okayyyyyyy but that's not ruining my life, I still have great grades, and I'm book smart so either way I'll be successful. Bye -_-

    • Well maybe ruining your life is a bit of a strong statement. But either way you see what I'm saying? Quit dealing with him and move on.

  • He will likely not be coming back, how long would you waste time waiting for him, anyway? I don't think you're going to be able to be friends with him, your emotions are too raw.

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    • What do you mean too raw?

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    • maybe I got hit by a a kid on a bike

    • whatever you're more prone to do ;).

What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes exes being friends work, other times it does't. I'm still friend with my ex (who happens to be the father of my girls), we were friends before we began dating and still continue being friends. But as I said, it sometimes work, it depends on how close you were and if there was something real, not superficial.

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  • Sometimes that works I have honestly never tried being friends with my ex we just never talk at all. I just think its kind of weird to be friends with an ex and it doesn't solve anything so what's the point. You just have to except that it is over and live with the memories if you can and move on with your life. Because sometimes being friends with an ex can lead to gaining feelings for them again, or getting attached. I'd say if you want to give it a try but I don't always think it is the best idea. Its better to just leave it in the past behind you and move on with your life.

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    • How does it not solve anything?

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    • That doesn't I answer my question. I asked how does being friends not solve anything? Did you ever try? If you can't give an example than this isn't valid. I wasn't being sassy by asking you, it was just a simple question. Soooooo yeah..

    • And Im sure you weren't together with your ex's for three years, and you wouldn't know unless you tried

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